Always Be My Baby

So I've been hearing all these ads on the radio lately for Palmer's Cocoa Butter and how it's supposed to help with scarring and stretch marks, i.e. my midsection as a result of children. So I picked up a bottle last weekend and finally tried it tonight. I started with my stomach and it smelled so good, I rubbed it on every where else... mmm... I smell good enough to eat.

:::

Last night was Nick's first gym class of the summer session. I took him and had a great time. Our favorite teacher, Miss Catherine, is the instructor and he did great. Except for mat time. He really didn't want to stay on the big red mat for the warm up. He did enjoy the bells and the parachute.

The skills they practiced were doing forward rolls down a wedge starting from a standing position, which were told helps them get the curved body that protects their neck better in the rolls. They also practiced jumping down from some large stacked wedge mats (with parental assistance) so they get used to the way that feels on their legs. Finally they practiced walking sideways one the balance beam.

As always, Nick's favorite part were the balls and the bubbles at the end of the class. He gets so happy when the balls come out. They're these large colorful, soft, rubber bouncy balls, as well as large red and yellow squishy soccer balls. We were supposed to practice rolling the ball back and forth, but Nick was more interested in running around with the balls.

:::

A new lady recently started on my team at work. She's older and has been doing this type of work for a long time, although she's new to the particular work my team does. I am also fairly new to the team, having been a member for all of three weeks. She's noticed that I'm tentative to take on assignments or ask questions, and has decided she's going to help me out by asking the questions and giving me the answers and volunteering for tasks and having me help her.

I really appreciate it. I've really been looking for someone that is outgoing and will teach me, while at the same time noticing the fact that I'm really shy about asking questions or speaking up. I have such a hard time being assertive. I want someone to tell me what to do or push me out of my comfort zone, while at the same time being total open to my questions or concerns.

:::

I recently read an old entry of Sundry's, which I could totally relate to. I too made a homemade carrot cake for Gabe's 1st Birthday, which he totally did not appreciate. I also have struggled with filling out the baby books for the boys. I have a few things in there, such as hospital bracelets and sonograms, but nothing significant. No first anything.

It bothers me sometimes. I worry that I'll forget. I worry that they'll resent me for not taking the time to fill out those books. I worry that I'll resent me. I worry a lot.

That's one of the reasons I decided to start blogging. I know it's late and I've already missed a lot in both their lives. But better late than never, right? I want so badly to capture my memories. I want to preserve these precious moments with my babies, because I know they will fly too quickly. I know that too soon they won't need me any more. I know that will make me sad. I know that no matter how big they get, they will always be my babies.