Thursday, August 19, 2010

I'm Still Standing

I haven't posted in a long time. But here I am. I'm still alive and kicking. I'm still struggling with this whole life balance thing. I'm still working on being a better parent. Especially to Gabe. Who's been officially diagnosed as having ADHD, and is currently in therapy, but more on that another time. We're getting ready for him to start kindergarten, whether or not he's ready (or I'm ready), and I'm not sure that he is.

I have completely fallen off the healthy bandwagon, and am struggling to get back on. I've gained weight, more than I'd like. I've been trying to use Jillian's workouts to get back in shape, and it's hard. It's so easy to let anything get in the way of eating right and exercising. First there was a broken toe (I got stepped on by a pony), then there were the exciting mole removals, and then moving, plus work and school and raising small children. And sometimes it's too much. Many days it's too much.

School is coming to an end, thankfully. I'm scheduled to finish my last class on November 22nd, and I am more than ready to be done. I'm hoping that that will result in less stress and more motivation for other pursuits, but who knows.

I'm trying to pretend that I'm a social butterfly, and have had guests over on numerous occasions, although I've kept the gatherings small and have been totally freaked before their arrival. I'm enjoying having a house, with space for company, and a deck, and a backyard. It's just that I'm a shy nonsocial creature by nature, so socializing is an anxiety-inducing event. But I'm trying. For me. For my boys. For my husband. I'm trying. But it's not easy.

Any way. I'm back. I'm here. And I'm going to try and post regularly again. Even if no one reads it. Even if it's just a place for me to vent. Or to write down my feelings. Or whatever.