One Cookie Short

See Food

2011-06-06T09:34:00.000-04:00

So I've started a new diet today. Or rather a diet I've been on before, but I'm starting it again. I'm doing the SlimFast/Lean Cuisine/Yoplait diet. In other words I'm using as many pre-packed convenient diet foods as I can and calling it a diet. And it works. At least for me.

Trying to making my own meals and eat healthy has not been working for me. Or maybe I haven't been working for it. Either way, I've largely spent the past year on the See Food diet. You know the one, where you see food and you eat it? Yeah, and I gained about 20 lbs on it. Putting me at 5 lbs overweight, and 30 lbs from where I ideally want to be.

Last June wasn't the best month for me, between Nick being hospitalized and moving into our new house. I never quite got back on track after that. So I'm doing my pre-packaged food diet with a calorie goal of 1500 and trying out Lindsay Brin's Moms into Fitness 60 Day SlimDown System.

Ideally I'd like to be down to my goal weight of 134 by my 30th birthday on December 2nd. I think 6 months should be enough time to lose 30 lbs, as long as I stay on the wagon.

I know it's not easy, life has a habit of getting in the way of the best intentions, and I don't always have the best willpower. But I really do want to be successful at this. Most importantly I want to be healthy, but I also want to lose some weight and look better in my clothes.

Hot Topics

2010-12-01T09:17:00.002-05:00

Did you know that parenting can be hard? Or that being a parent that works outside of the home can be heartbreaking? It's true.

Nick started preschool on Monday, and will be going three days a week. Part of the reason is to put my MIL back into the role of Grandma, and not third parent. But, we also think that it will be good for him. He needs people, and does not have any playmates his own age. Initially Oscar was going to keep him the other two days, but my MIL requested to have time with him, so she'll be coming over Thursdays and Fridays to get the boys ready and take Nick home with her.

Drop off went well Monday and Tuesday, he barely stopped to say goodbye before he was off exploring the classroom. Today, however, he didn't want me to leave. He didn't want to stay. And he was crying. It hurt to see him crying for me. Because I had to leave. I had to take Gabe to school and I had to go to work. But I didn't want to leave. I wanted to scoop him up and take him home with me.

I know this is a good environment for him. He's been wanting to be in school since Gabe started Pre-K last Spring. He has had no problems adapting and the peer environment works well for him. He eats what everybody else is eating and naps because everybody else is napping. Yesterday I asked him what he learned that day, and he told me he learned how to eat a meatball.

***

In other news, I finally finished my degree last week. I still need to get in contact with my Academic Counselor to determine the steps to get my diploma, but I'm done. Just in time for the craziness of the holidays.

We had Thanksgiving at our house this year. Oscar's mom, dad, and sister came. I made my sweet potato casserole just because I love it, but we ordered our meal from Wegman's. It was supposed to be heat and serve. However, we missed the fine print, where it said everything was frozen. So heat and serve took a lot longer than expected. It was good though. Wegman's is always good. My MIL also made deviled eggs (Oscar's favorite), cornbread, and pumpkin pie. Oscar's uncle was supposed to come too, but we found out at the last minute that he was not going to be there. He didn't have other plans, so I'm not sure what that was about.

Oscar and I did hit a couple of stores on Black Friday, not because we really needed anything, but just for the fun of it. We waited in line until midnight for Old Navy to open and picked up some clothes for the boys. We also went to Toys 'R' Us and while we did find a couple little things for the boys, the lines were so crazy that we decided not to buy anything.

My MIL spent the night so Oscar and I could hit the sales. The plan was for her to take Gabe to their country house to spend the night, so they could get the Christmas decorations. However, when they were getting ready to leave, Nick thought he was going too. He even went into the garage and got his Lightning McQueen suitcase and put all his Beanie Baby birdies in it. He was so excited about it, we asked if my MIL could take him too, and we would just drive up a little later and get him. He was so happy.

On Saturday evening, after Gabe and my MIL got home, we went to see the lights display at Bull Run Regional Park. It's a great display and the boys loved it. I loved seeing how excited my boys were with every display. The entire park is lined with lights with different themes as you drive along. At the end is a little carnival, which the boys wanted to go to, but it was freezing out. Riding a Ferris wheel when it's 30 degrees and dark out, just does not sound like a good idea.

***

It feels so weird that today is the first day of December. I'm not sure where the year went. I remember all the big events of the year. Nick's 2nd birthday. Nick's stay at the hospital. Our vacation at Great Wolf Lodge. Moving into our house. Gabe's 5th Birthday. Gabe's first day of school. Gabe's t-ball games. My trip to Seattle for my 10-year reunion (which I skipped in favor of hanging out with a friend and watching a movie at the local Cinebarre). Our 6th anniversary.

Tomorrow is my 29th birthday. My last year in my 20s. I'm not sure how I got his old. I don't feel like I'm old enough to be 29. Or to be married. Or to have two children. I still feel 18, discovering the world outside of school and my home for the first time.

Next year I will turn 30, which just boggles my mind. How can I be almost 30? It's so old, and yet it isn't. I still have the majority of my life ahead of me. I have my children to watch grow up, graduate high school, then college, get married, have babies of their own. I have so many years ahead of me. And yet 30. I'm not ready for 30.

His Normal

2010-10-22T08:57:00.000-04:00

Gabe had his weekly therapy session yesterday. Right now we're using therapy to help manage his ADHD symptoms. I'm also hoping that it is able to help with his inability to express his feelings or relate to other children. My husband sent me an e-mail last night and mentioned that Gabe asked when Nick was going to start going to therapy. And it made me cry.

He doesn't know that he's different. And I hope that he never does. We're taking the necessary steps to help him at an early age. But it is hard. It's hard having a child that behaves and reacts to things in a way that I don't understand. I know that some of it, of course, is his age, but a lot of it has to do with the ADHD.

T-ball is a prime example. Yes, I know. They are five. Attention spans aren't the best to begin with for your average five-year-old. But when the team is on the field, the other little boys are watching the ball and chasing after it. Gabe lets it roll on by because he's staring at the sky or picking grass or laying flat on his back in the outfield.

I am the type of person who likes routine. I want things to go the way they're supposed to go, and get stressed or anxious when they do not. I realize that is my issue, and I'm working on it. However, routine does not work well with Gabe. Requests with multiple steps do not work with Gabe. Trying to get him to focus on anything for more than a few minutes does not work with Gabe.

I know how swimming lessons and gym class have gone. I know how he has responded to soccer and T-ball. School is still a bit of a mystery to me. I know he's a sweet and charming child, and does well with women he likes. I also know that Kindergarten is packed with activities, so the kids are never at any activity for too long, although the lessons of the day are repeated throughout, just in different ways. So it's probably ideal for him.

But I still worry. I worry that he can't tell me the names of any of the students in his class. I worry that he is not learning what he needs to be learning. I worry that Kindergarten may be the easy part, and next year first grade is going to throw us for a loop. I worry because that's what I do, but also because of who he is. I've been worried about school from the first day I suspected that he had ADHD.

I worry because I watched my brother grow up with ADHD, and I watched him struggle. Things like school and making friends came so much harder to him. My brother is doing fantastic now. In fact he is working on his Masters Degree. He is in a career suited to his interests and personality. And he is still best friends with his best friends from fourth grade. One of whom was the best man at his wedding.

I know I am not alone. I know there are other parents out there dealing with the same issues with their children. However, on the bad days it doesn't make it any easier knowing that.

Bad Medicine

2010-09-21T07:30:00.001-04:00

Apparently the only way we can keep Nick out of the hospital is by having frequent visits with his pediatrician. Today will be his third visit to the doctor since his cold moved into his lungs on Friday. On Saturday it was determined that he has pneumonia in his right lung, and was put on albuterol (luckily we still had that handy nebulizer from his last bought of pneumonia) and antibiotics. Yesterday we added an oral steroid.

Today's trip will likely include a chest x-ray and an additional antibiotic. Once he final shakes this round of pneumonia, his doctor wants him to be on a preventative medicine throughout the entire fall and winter, in an attempt to avoid pneumonia if he gets (or should I say when) he gets sick again.

Back Story: In June Nick got sick with croup twice. The second time, apparently it moved into his lungs and likely cause Pneumonia. However, we only found this out when he had a seizure and fell off our bed in reaction to his fever. We called the paramedics (and boy is it fun to have about eight paramedics in your bedroom), and they checked him for a concussion. They didn't see any signs of trauma, but recommended we take him to the ER just to be safe. What scared me was that he was very lethargic after having the seizure, which is such a foreign state for Nick. Inova Loudon Hospital in Landsdowne has a separate pediatric ER, so they took us there.

Nick was checked out and it was determined that he did not have a concussion and the seizure was likely a febrile seizure, but hey his lungs don't sound so good and his oxygen levels are really low, so let's admit him. They immediately put him on oxygen. We ended up being in the hospital for three days, until Nick could sustain his oxygen levels consistently on his own.

Not that being in the hospital is ever any fun, but the care we received and the amenities in the pediatric ward were fantastic. It really helped make a bad situation tolerable. We were also lucky that my MIL was available to care for Gabe, so that Oscar and I could focus on taking care of Nick.

I really hope that Nick gets better soon, because he's still wants to to run and play, but he's supposed to be taking it easy while he recovers. He's also cranky, and doesn't want to sit and be still every four hours when he's supposed to get a treatment with his nebulizer. Luckily he doesn't fight me when it's time to receive his other medications.

We're going to take every precaution necessary to keep him as healthy as possible during the upcoming cold and flu season, but I'm still afraid that even with the necessary preventive steps, he's still going to get really sick again.

Two

2010-09-10T08:47:00.000-04:00

I've been posting a lot about Gabe lately, just because of all the new things happening in his life, but I thought I'd take this post to talk about Nick.

Nick is almost two and a half, and like many toddlers his mood swings are quick and fierce. His tantrums are epic, and his love is heart-melting. It's hard to say no to a toddler who wants to sleep with you at night when he says, "Mommy, I'm lonely. I need you," and then goes and gathers up his pillow and his two chosen lovies. I have a hard time resisting him. The feeling of him in my arms as he buries his head in my shoulder, the sweet smell of freshly washed toddler... Very hard to resist.

His hair continues to be long and fluffy and red. He loves to dance. We recently discovered Pandora, and he loves the Doo Wop channel. He especially loves when I dance with him. We also recently discovered YouTube and at times he'll demand Little Bunny Foo Foo or Animal Fair or the Manamana song. Sometimes he'll want me to put on a cartoon, such as an old Chipmunks short or Scooby Doo.

He misses his brother, now that Gabe's in school, although he enjoys the undivided attention he gets from Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt R. He wants to be in school because Gabe is in school. With his eagerness to do everything Gabe does, I think he will probably start reading when Gabe does. While I don't doubt Gabe's intelligence it is a struggle to get him to focus on learning to identify letters in words and what sounds they make together.

Nick's new fascination is with my in-laws country house. Whenever he asks where anybody is, regardless of my answer, he responds by telling me that they are at the country house. He had a great time there last weekend when we went up for Labor Day. Although he did come home with two burnt fingers from getting too close to the fire when he was roasting marshmallows (I wasn't there, Oscar and I were a county fair watching a TNA wrestling match).

Nick continues to love meat over carbs, which is just the opposite of his brother. His main meal is usually chicken nuggets, fish sticks, or hot dogs, whereas Gabe prefers noodles with butter or Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (yes, it must be Kraft). For Nick I've tried to pick the healthiest versions of his favorite as possible, but it's hard to ensure they are both eating healthy. The only vegetable Gabe will eat is carrots, and Nick will eat Carrots, Potatoes, and Corn, sometimes grape tomatoes and cucumbers. They do eat a lot of fruit.

Nick can chatter in full sentences and is understandable at least 90% of the time. He's running and jumping like a champ. He's in the process of getting his two-year molars. Two have popped through so far. He knows his colors, can count to 10 consistently, sometimes to 20. He knows most of his letters, and can sing almost the whole alphabet song. He continues to amaze me every day.

But his sweetest words are still "I love you, mommy," sealed with a hug and a kiss.

Who's on First

2010-09-09T09:47:00.004-04:00

So, there's a great skit by Abbott and Costello about baseball, and if you've never read it/heard it, I highly recommend that you go take a look.

The reason I bring this up is because Gabe has started t-ball. Last night was his second practice and this Saturday will be his first game. Watching five and six-year-olds learning how to play baseball reminds me of the confusion in that skit. I'm also baffled by the convoluted plan the coach came up with to cycle the kids through all the positions and up to bat. It took so much time after each at bat to figure out which child belonged where (Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base. Abbott: No. What is on second base. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first.) Because of this our hour long practice stretch to 90 minutes.

While I'm not sure that Gabe will ever excel at any sport, he is after all my child, and I have no coordination whatsoever. When it was time for racquet sports in P.E., I had to go play with the wall, because I was so awful. The wall usually won. Any way, to top off Gabe's lack probably lack of coordination, as I've mentioned before, he also has ADHD. So if there is nothing going on, or rather, nothing immediately for him to do, he's trying to build dirt mounds or pick grass. Or anything but paying attention to the coaches and watching the ball.

It is cute. He has baseball pants, and cleats, and a team uniform. They are the Padres, and as I had to ask someone, the SD on their hats stands for San Diego. They are the San Diego Padres. I wasn't aware that San Diego had a baseball team. But then again, what I know about sports could fit on the head of a ballpoint pen, probably with room left over. I have however purchased a book titled, "The Smart Girl's Guide to Sports: An Essential Handbook for Women Who Don't Know a Slam Dunk from a Grand Slam". I am promised that when I find the time to read this book, I will have a comprehensive knowledge of sports.

Gabe isn't too bad when he actually thinks about what he's doing and makes an effort. The coordination for catching isn't quite there (and he likes to put his glove on the wrong hand), but he can throw decently and hit decently. But the key is when he pays attention and focuses, which is extremely hard for him.

The biggest problem I have with t-ball is that practice occurs at 5:30, and makes a long day of having to behave even harder. Yesterday was a prime example. His classroom has four tables each with their own color. Well-behaved tables get awarded a color stick in their color pot, with the goal to collect five sticks. When your table does, you get to pick out a prize from the treasure chest. Gabe's table was the most well-behaved yesterday, so he came home with a prize.

He then proceeded to be difficult the entire evening, and Oscar and I were sorely tempted to not take him to t-ball practice because his behavior was so lousy. Julie at A Little Pregnant explained it so much better yesterday. It's so frustrating to hear about how good a day he had at school and then having to deal with arguing, complaining, and back-talking. Then to add t-ball on top of it all, and expect him to be fully engaged is a lot to ask.

I wonder, how do other parents deal with this behavior in their children?

Yes, I Cried

2010-09-08T08:19:00.007-04:00

So, yesterday was Gabe's first day of Kindergarten. His backpack, jacket, hat, and name tag were set by the door (with care), and his lunch was made and waiting in the refrigerator. His outfit for the first day of school was carefully picked out, and sitting on his bookcase. His alarm was set for 6:00 AM, to make sure he had plenty of time to get ready and eat breakfast. And then we drove him to school.

We parked the van and walked him in and yes, I cried. I didn't want to let him go. My baby is no longer a baby. He's in school now. My husband met him after class got out, to make sure that he got onto his bus for his afternoon class at the local multipurpose center. I was so worried about him. I'm still worried about him. But he seems to be doing okay.

He enjoyed school, and while he was disappointed that they did not get any recess time, he was excited about getting a tour of the school. And explained how they were supposed to walk through the halls - in one straight line with a finger to the lips and a hand on the hip. He brought home a picture he colored, along with a packet full of paperwork for us to read and fill out. When we picked him up yesterday afternoon, he was so happy to see us and so excited to talk to us about his day. He was like a wriggly little puppy.

My MIL dropped him off this morning, and I just called to check on him. She said he was Mr. Independent and asked that she just pull up to the door in the Kiss and Go lane and let him get out because he knew the way to his classroom. And I cried. My baby has gotten so big. So very big. I'm so glad he's doing well, although I know that today is only day two.

It's amazing how quickly the time goes. It feels like he was just born yesterday. I can vividly remember the start of my labor, and the night while the contractions got more frequent. The delivery is a bit of a blur - there were so many people in the room. I can remember bringing him home to our apartment and our first walk around the block, and how painful that was. I remember each of his birthdays. But it still feels like it happened so quickly, that five years were gone in a flash.
Then again, my ten-year high school reunion is next month, and I'm wondering where those years went.

Twas the Night Before Kindergarten

2010-09-06T18:53:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow Gabe starts kindergarten. I'm worried that we're not ready. The school supplies have been delivered (along with checks for his weekly Scholastics magazine and daily milk). His backpack, jacket, hat, and lunch bag have been labeled and are ready to go. He's very excited to show everyone his very cool Buzz Lightyear backpack.

So it's not the physical readiness that I question. It's the emotional readiness. I can't believe he's already starting school. I worry that he's too young. He's such a very young five. He also has ADHD, which is not going to make it any easier. I worry that he hasn't spent enough time interacting with his peers and having to listen to someone who is not family.

At the recommendation of his therapist, we have also enrolled him in an afternoon program at the local rec center. The teacher knows the curriculum of Gabe's teacher, and her program is designed to build on what he learns in his A.M. kindergarten class. He'll have to learn to eat lunch on a schedule, and will have no choice beyond whether or not to eat what is packed for him. Gabe doesn't do well on a schedule, and he's used to eating whatever he wants all day. Life with Grandma watching him has been an easy one.

Grandma, for her part, is concerned with how little he will be getting to eat. Only his milk in the morning and his lunch midday. She's also worried about the fact that recess is considered a privilege and not a right, and that bad behavior will result in a loss of recess. The first two weeks will be a little more lenient as the children get used to school, but after that they will all be expected to know and understand the rules of the classroom.

What I'm most amazed with is how much school has changed since I was a little girl. There are no holiday parties. No Halloween party or Christmas party. Kids will not be allowed to wear costumes on Halloween. There also is a no food rule, kids can't even bring cupcakes in on their birthdays, although I think that is particular to our county, rather than public schools in general. We're also not allowed to walk our kids to their classrooms. A teacher will meet the kids outside to ensure they know where to go, but parents are only allowed in for special events and parent teacher conferences.

I really want this to be a good experience for Gabe. I want school to be something he enjoys and looks forward to. So far, he is really excited, but he hasn't started yet. It's going to be a huge change for him, and I'm not sure how it will go. I guess only time will tell. I'm just hoping that it won't be my child that visits the Principal the first week of school.

I Think it Might be Broken

2010-09-02T20:27:00.003-04:00

When I made the decision to get pregnant, I knew there would be some changes to my body. I expected many of them, and am okay with most of them. The saggy boobs, the squishy midsection (although I'd really like to fix that), the silver stretch marks, the red scar across my stomach. Even the joy that were hemorrhoids. But I was not the least bit prepared for prolapse, especially a diagnosis nearly two and a half years after the birth of Nick.

I finally went to the doctor on Thursday to get my lady parts examined, and will shortly have a referral for a gynecologist that specializes in prolapses. My excitement can not be contained. It's so frustrating to feel like I'm broken. I've thought about more children, and despite my ability to get pregnant, I feel like it's not a good ideal health wise for me to have more children, with the prolapse being just the latest in my medical issues. And let's not get started on the apparent threat the umbilical cord seems to pose to my children.

I've never been bothered by doctors, or really concerned with any procedures. "Oh, so you want to give me a bunch of random shots in an auditorium, sure, why not. Sounds like fun." But the prolapse thing does kind of scare me. I realize that I've caught it early, my doctor said on a level of 1 (mild) to 4 (severe) it was only a 1, and that there were plenty of nonsurgical options at this stage, but I just feel so broken. It makes me feel as though the option of having another baby is being taken away from me.

I'm glad I went in, but I worry that I might be a hypochondriac. I've seen my doctor at least once every other month this year for something, often the same something, but I fear that Dr. Google might be leading me astray. Does anybody else try to self-diagnose?

I'm Still Standing

2010-08-19T18:39:00.002-04:00

I haven't posted in a long time. But here I am. I'm still alive and kicking. I'm still struggling with this whole life balance thing. I'm still working on being a better parent. Especially to Gabe. Who's been officially diagnosed as having ADHD, and is currently in therapy, but more on that another time. We're getting ready for him to start kindergarten, whether or not he's ready (or I'm ready), and I'm not sure that he is.

I have completely fallen off the healthy bandwagon, and am struggling to get back on. I've gained weight, more than I'd like. I've been trying to use Jillian's workouts to get back in shape, and it's hard. It's so easy to let anything get in the way of eating right and exercising. First there was a broken toe (I got stepped on by a pony), then there were the exciting mole removals, and then moving, plus work and school and raising small children. And sometimes it's too much. Many days it's too much.

School is coming to an end, thankfully. I'm scheduled to finish my last class on November 22nd, and I am more than ready to be done. I'm hoping that that will result in less stress and more motivation for other pursuits, but who knows.

I'm trying to pretend that I'm a social butterfly, and have had guests over on numerous occasions, although I've kept the gatherings small and have been totally freaked before their arrival. I'm enjoying having a house, with space for company, and a deck, and a backyard. It's just that I'm a shy nonsocial creature by nature, so socializing is an anxiety-inducing event. But I'm trying. For me. For my boys. For my husband. I'm trying. But it's not easy.

Any way. I'm back. I'm here. And I'm going to try and post regularly again. Even if no one reads it. Even if it's just a place for me to vent. Or to write down my feelings. Or whatever.

The Number of the Day is 5

2009-10-29T08:57:00.004-04:00

I finally signed up for my first 5k last week. It's on Thanksgiving. I figured that if I know I'm going to eat a lot on Thanksgiving, and I always do, it would be great to have to do exercise first. I've already been training, running for a minimum of 30 minutes 3 times a week, so this is just an added incentive to stick to it.

This morning was one of my best runs yet. Normally I need a water break after 15-20 minutes, and this morning I ran without stopping for an entire 30 minutes, and then ran an additional 15 minutes after that. My pace was about 6.0 mph and my incline ranged from 1% to 4%. It was tough, but I also hit 4 miles, which is the first time I've done that in a very long time.

All this training has not moved the scale as much as I would have liked, even though I can tell that my pants are getting loser. I'm just one of those people that likes to see proof of her hard work. That's another reason I like running on the treadmill so much and will probably have to get some sort of gadget when/if I start running outside.

I also need to start mixing up my strength training more. I do Jillian's No More Trouble Zones, usually, but even though a lot of the moves are still challenging, it's starting to become too routine. Last night I was checking out the latest videos on demand on ExerciseTV and saw that the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Hard Body Boot Camp was available. I watched the routine and it looks like a pretty good workout. Military style exercise is something I'm very familiar with. So I think I'll do that tomorrow morning, and maybe add the Ab workout too.

:::

Tomorrow is also a special day. Oscar and I will be celebrating 5 years of marriage. We're both taking the day off work to spend together. We plan to go bowling, out to lunch at our favorite grill, to see a movie (probably Couple's Retreat), and then out to dinner at the Melting Pot, which is so good.

We originally planned to spend the night at a hotel, but with Halloween being the following day we decided that that would just be too difficult. Plus Nick has his gym class in the morning, and all the kids are supposed to dress up for it. Then we have the parade in the afternoon and trick or treating in the evening.

Even without the hotel, I still think it will be a great day, and I'm looking forward to it.

Missing Brother

2009-10-27T10:35:00.000-04:00

This past weekend Gabe was out of town with my MIL all weekend to celebrate his second cousin’s 8^th birthday. So Nick got a lot of quality alone time with Oscar and me, which he enjoyed. He loved having our undivided attention, but he also missed Gabe a lot.

Both Saturday and Sunday he wanted to go wake Gabe up and got upset when he realized Gabe wasn’t there. He also kept looking for Gabe to play with him. He just looked lonely. Oscar and I tried to play with him a lot to make up for it, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted Gabe.

It was especially bad Sunday evening when Gabe got home. Nick followed him around and kept trying to hug him and play with him. Gabe was happy for the attention at first, but quickly grew bored with it. He wanted to be left alone.

After the boys were both in bed Sunday, Gabe needed to get up to use the potty, and Nick, who was only half asleep, heard him, and got very distressed wanting to be with him. He kept yelling Gabriel, and even tried to get out of his crib, which he never does, to go be with Gabe. Nothing could calm him down, short of a car ride.

I felt so bad. I didn’t like him being so upset. It was almost as though he feared that Gabe was going to go away again.

My boys are such very different types of people. Gabe is much more introverted and concerned with his chosen selection of special people. He prefers one-on-one attention and lots of alone time. Nick is more extroverted and loves to be around people. He is especially interested in Gabe and what Gabe is doing, which more often than not, irritates Gabe.

I know part of it is normal sibling issues, but I think the other part is their very different personality types. It’s another one of the reasons I’m torn on having another child. I think Nick would benefit from having more siblings to play with, but I think Gabe needs so much individual attention that it could be hard. I also worry that Nick could get lost in the middle.

Overruled

2009-10-22T13:22:00.000-04:00

I’ve written before about how much I appreciate my MIL, and I do. She’s way cheaper than daycare, adores the boys, and does all that SAHM stuff that I would never do even if I were a SAHM. Unfortunately, since she is family, she also feels that she can do things her way with little regard for the preferences of my husband or me (mostly me).

This coming weekend Oscar and I had made plans to go bowling with friends over a month ago. A week ago my MIL found out that her nephew’s daughter, R. will be with him for the weekend of her birthday and she wanted to plan R. a party (her nephew and his wife recently divorced). She’ll be turning eight. She also wanted to bring Gabe to the party she’s planning, although there is no set time, other than sometime Saturday.

The annoying thing is she just assumed that Gabe was able to go, and that any plans we made weren’t important. I should also mention that Gabe has soccer practice Saturday afternoons, and that he’ll have to miss practice to go to the party (not that he’s that into soccer). My in-law’s country house is close to where my MIL’s nephew lives so she was planning to go up Friday evening and not return until Sunday afternoon, and expected to take Gabe with her for the whole weekend.

Oscar ended up giving in, and we decided we’d go bowling with our friends even without Gabe. It’s just frustrating that she just assumes she can make plans with Gabe whenever she wants, as though she is his parent and not us. Admittedly it will be a more relaxing weekend without Gabe running around, but I will miss him, and we get such limited time together during the week that it’s hard to let him go on the weekend.

Canceled

2009-10-20T07:22:00.002-04:00

So this past weekend was the weekend of canceled plans due to sick kids (not mine) and bad weather. While it was nice to relax and get stuff accomplished around the house that I'd been putting off (like cleaning off the top of our dressers), it was a little disappointing to have so many things canceled.

Saturday was really cold and rainy, so Gabe's soccer practice was canceled. Although we still went to Nick's gym class. We were also supposed to go to the local farm with some friends, but that was closed due to the weather. Saturday night was supposed to be my girl's night, and I was so excited, but that too was canceled. K's youngest woke up sick, and she didn't want to have a babysitter with a sick kid or expose me to the germs. Totally understandable, but disappointing nonetheless.

To make up for that Oscar asked his mom if she could watch the boys for a couple hours so we could go out to dinner alone. I thought that was super sweet. We went to Outback, his favorite restaurant (apart from Jack 'n the Box). It was delicious. I even had a drink, an excellent blueberry martini. I do like me some vodka.

On Sunday we were supposed to have a playdate with some friends up the street during the Redskins game. Oscar was going to watch football while Gabe and Nick played with their son. Unfortunately their oldest, who is 2, started throwing up that morning and so our friends had to cancel the playdate. Gabe was very disappointed. He's been wanting to play with their son for weeks now.

Oscar did, however, get most of the work done on their pumpkins, which please Gabe. Gabe's pumpkin still needs a face, which I think they're going to do tonight. Oscar got a Sesame Street carving kit, which seems to be this year's Halloween Theme. Nick's is, of course, Elmo. Gabe's is going to be the Count. Elmo came out really well, and looks awesome with the candle shining through.

I got a ton of cleaning done this weekend. We can now see the tops of all of our dressers. All the laundry is folded, including the shirts Oscar stuffs in the back of his closet. I even ironed four of his dress shirts and a pair of his pants, and I never iron! Unfortunately I think that is still a work in progress. No, I didn't burn anything, but I wasn't very good at getting all the wrinkles out.

We also picked up a few new games this weekend for my Wii. One for me, one for Oscar, and one for both of us. Toys 'R Us was having a buy two, get one free sale on all video games. The game we got for both of is the Star Wars Clone Wars game, with lightsaber battles. So awesome. Also, you can get a sweat on if you play for a while. We don't have the lightsaber accessories yet, and yes they do make them for the Wii, but I think that they're on our list of things to get. It's a ton of fun to play. I also got the Wii Fit Plus. Oscar got Grand Slam Tennis.

I'm so glad Oscar finally convinced me to buy (and not return) the Wii and Wii Fit. I'm really enjoying them both.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

2009-10-16T13:11:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow night I'm going to have my first girl's night in a very long time. We're going to dinner and a movie, and Oscar is watching the boys. I'm even missing bedtime! It feels almost like a first date, and in a way it is. My friend K. and I, have gotten together many times to do family things with our boys (and husbands), but have never hung out just the two of us before.

There's a great shopping center about 15 minutes from where we live, that has a movie theater and a few restaurants, so we're going to meet up there. The plan is to see Whip It, which looks like a great chick flick, without being a romantic comedy. There's a great grill right next door, so that's where we plan to eat dinner.

It feels silly to be so excited about this, but I am. I really don't have any female friends, and I miss it. I love my husband, but sometimes it would be really nice to have another women to talk to about things. I'm hoping that maybe K. could be that person.

Also what do I wear? Casual? Dressy? I have no idea. I was thinking of jeans, a nice sweater, and boots. But I'm not sure.

Okay, I'm done sound like a pathetic wall flower. Let's move on to more exciting topics. Like exercise!

:::

I've been consistently working out for three weeks now, and have lost 5 lbs in that time. I run three days a week and on the other two days I do a video or I use ExerciseTV On Demand, depending on my mood. I'm also playing with my Wii Fit every evening, because that's fun, and addicting, and it tracks progress.

Although, I totally felt stupid last night, when trying to figure out why I couldn't get the step aerobic activity right, I finally determined that I had the fit backwards, so of course it wasn't registering me stepping with proper foot. Also, why I couldn't do any of the balance games, because it was backwards. Not that turning it around improved my score for the balance games by that much. The Wii Fit says I am very unbalanced. However, I have managed to not launch the Wii remote at the TV, so I have that going for me.

Listening Ears

2009-10-14T14:35:00.002-04:00

We always ask Gabe before we go someplace, or before he goes into a class, if he has his listening ears on. Quite often he does not. In fact he often tells us that his listening ears ran out of batteries, and that's why he wasn't listening. It's most apparent when he's in a class, such as the swimming class he was in today.

I realize that most 4-year-olds have moments where they don't listen or ignore what an adult is saying. I also realize that it is often more difficult for boys. However, if you were to get a group of boys together and instruct them to do something, most likely it will be Gabe that is not participating, or not doing what he's supposed to be doing.

I'm not sure how to correct this behavior, although it's been an issue since he started talking. At first I thought it might have been an issue with how he was parented, since I had a test case of one. Then I had Nick, who is an entirely different kind of difficult, but listens quite well, he just may choose to ignore you. It seems like Gabe isn't even hearing us, despite having perfect hearing.

The threat of consequences or the promise of rewards doesn't even seem to phase him. Although, he can be bribed pretty well with a cookie when we're out and about. Most times he just misbehaves and then gets upset when he loses something or doesn't get a reward, which usually results in a major meltdown. It's so frustrating.

Swim class today was a perfect example. There was one other boy and two little girls in the class. As is usual of children this age they all had a little trouble listening. Gabe, however, just wanted to do his own thing, sometimes even when he was out in the deep water with his instructor. He would wander off from the group because he wanted to put his head in the water, or continue to splash even after being asked not to, or chase after the buoy that they use to practice skills with.

It was the buoy that managed to scare Gabe straight today. In the shallow part of the pool, there's a ledge that the instructor has the kids stand on so the water is only waist high. Across from the ledge is a wall that a life guard walks on, so they're pretty safe. However, Gabe kept wandering down to where the ledge drops off. At one point the buoy had drifted that way and Gabe wanted to get it. It was about two feet from the wall the ledge was attached to, and he grabbed it. However, he was now in the middle of the water with nothing but the buoy and went under water a couple times in his struggle to get back to the ledge.

If he hadn't been able to get out of the water and back to the ledge, I know the life guard who was right there would have rescued him, but it was enough that he listened for the last 10 minutes of class. He was scared into listening and behaving. I tried to tell him that listening is often for his own safety, but he can't seem to comprehend that sometimes. I hate to think that he needs to get scared or hurt to learn why he needs to listen to grownups.

What about you? Do your children have difficulty listening? How do you handle it?

Wiikend Update

2009-10-12T12:31:00.002-04:00

I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but Oscar used to work nights and weekends, which would often make those weekends he wasn't working really stressful, since we would try to cram everything we could into them. Most weekends we limit what we do to only one big thing for the boys. This weekend it was C.'s 3rd birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, followed by a late evening of playing with S. and C. at their house on Sunday. Most of the weekend was spent chilling out at home, which is nice.

Friday was my flex day, and since Oscar wasn't feeling well, he stayed home with me. We went bowling and then out to lunch. It was fun and low-key. I really like that we've found an activity that we both enjoy doing, even if our skill levels are very different. My average is 70 and his is 150. It gives us a chance to relax, talk, and joke around, while having fun. So much of our dating has revolved around eating out and movies/TV, that having something semi-active to do together is a nice change of pace.

:::

On Saturday, Nick had gym class, which he always enjoys. Gabe did not have soccer due to the holiday. After we got home, I finally set up my Wii, which has been sitting in a closet for the past month. Oscar, recently bought Rock Band, and Gabe has been anxious to try it out, even though he doesn't have the hand-eye coordination necessary to play. Poor Nick was so curious about everything, and wanted to participate, but if my 4-year-old was struggling, I wasn't about to let my 18-month-old try.

My Wii came with Wii Sports, which is so much fun. It should be no surprise that my favorite sport to play is the Wii Bowling, and I was actually doing okay. I was at least getting my average, and at one point even bowled over 100, which I could never do without bumpers at a real bowling alley. I also opened up my Wii Fit, which was the main reason I wanted the Wii. I haven't had a chance to do much beyond setting up my profile, but I did set up a profile for Gabe and he played a few games. For him I focused on games that just involved balance, rather than needing the remote, and he did pretty well, and was much less frustrated than he was with Rock Band or bowling.

I still plan to do my Treadmill or video workouts (ExerciseTV or NMTZ) in the mornings, but the Wii Fit seems like something fun to do in the evenings. It's a workout and a game. I'm also hoping that since it is a video game, that maybe I can get Oscar working out on it too. I was really proud of myself this morning, because for the first time I didn't have to stop once during my 30-minute run on the treadmill. I can feel myself getting stronger, and I really like that feeling.

:::

On Sunday, we went to C.'s party at Chuck E. Cheese. Gabe has such a great time. He was so excited to see S., even though they're in two different classes together during the week. For him, it's never enough time. In addition to the normal entertainment offered by Chuck E. Cheese, our friends hired a face painter for the party. Gabe got a Spiderman mask and then a rainbow on his arm. S. had to get a matching rainbow on her arm, because she liked Gabe's. Nick got his face painted too, although he had to sit on my lap for it. We decided on a little pumpkin for his cheek. Later on he also had a little turtle painted on his hand.

Nick didn't have as good a time as Gabe did, but a lot of it is because there is not much that is age-appropriate for him. He's also still fighting a cold, which has him rather cranky. He did like the Chuck E. Cheese ride that takes pictures, and I was dragged to that at least 5 times. He was also curious about the animated Chuck E. Cheese, but didn't want to go near it. I tried once, and he burst into tears. The party was fantastic, and Gabe had a great time, which is the important part.

After the party we took the boys home and got them ready for bed, pajamas and all, and then went over to our friend's house so that Gabe could play more with S. and C. Nick had fun playing with their toys, since other people's toys are always better than your own. C. thought Nick made a good doll, and wanted to dress him up. He ended up with two necklaces at one point. Oscar turned on the football game, and I spent time talking to our friends. We also had some excellent Chinese takeout for dinner. The boys were up way past their bedtimes, but they had so much fun, that it was worth it. Especially since it's only an occasional thing.

Fighting Fall

2009-10-08T07:20:00.003-04:00

This morning I got up and worked out, although it was the hardest morning yet to force myself to get out of bed. Nick was up for about an hour last night coughing, so I was exhausted. Getting up to do an exercise video just didn't sound very appealing, but I did it anyway. For an hour. And I feel good about it. Tomorrow I'm supposed to run, and as long as I get up, I'll have completed two full weeks of working out.

My schedule is to run for at least 30 minutes 3 days a week and to weight train for 45 minutes 2 days a week plus 20 minutes of yoga in the evenings. My calorie goal is 1500 calories a day. So far I'm doing pretty good and have lost 4 lbs since last Monday.

I'm one of those people that has to watch what they eat and exercise or the weight creeps on, as has happened to me recently. I was eating a lot of junk and was sporadic with exercising and gained about 10 lbs. So frustrating. I also recently discovered that my cholesterol is high, which is really scary, since my dad's side of the family has a history of heart disease.

Unfortunately we're entering the time of year that causes me the most troubles with eating healthy, since I love all the seasonal food. Pumpkin-flavored things, Halloween candy, Thanksgiving dinner and leftovers, Christmas cookies, Egg Nog. I know when the Cheesecake Factory starts selling Pumpkin Cheesecake (mid-October, in case you were interested). So eating this time of year is a challenge for me. Especially on the weekends when I don't have my normal routine to keep me on track.

Also, on a slightly related note, I recently discovered Exercise TV on demand, and it is awesome. There are so many workouts available for free. I've been doing the yoga programs and really liking them. Also discovered that there is a huge variety of free programming available on demand. Some of it is interesting and some of it is really weird. There are even how-to videos for putting on makeup and doing fancy up-dos. How did I live before on demand?

Socializing our Children

2009-10-05T11:16:00.004-04:00

I had a really nice weekend for the first one of October. The weather was great, and we were able to have the boys do some fun activities and get things done around the house.

On Friday, Gabe spent the night with my MIL because the high school near her house was having their homecoming parade through the neighborhood and on Saturday there was this Joe Gibbs carnival thing going on. Oscar and I just stayed in with Nick and caught up on the TV shows we had recorded from the week.

On Saturday morning, Oscar and I took Nick to gym class, which was our first opportunity to be in class together, which was nice. We went to every one of Gabe's parent-child classes together, but it's difficult to do the same thing when we also have an older child. Nick is still tentative around all of the older children, he's the youngest in the class, but he does all the skills.

After Nick's gym class we went to the mall to pick up my anniversary present (five years on October 30th), and to get Nick a cat from Build-a-Bear. Gabe has an orange tabby that meows and Nick really likes it, so we wanted to get him one of his own. He calls it a "mow". Unfortunately Build-a-Bear no longer sells the orange tabby, so we got him a sparkly snow leopard instead, which Nick approved of. We named it "Meow", since that's what Nick calls it. However, it still does not replace his beloved red giraffe ("raffe").

In the afternoon, Gabe had soccer practice. My MIL and SIL met us at the field with Gabe. Oscar has been roped into being the assistant coach, but I think that helps Gabe to some extent. We're having a hard time deciding if we should keep signing him up for soccer. He's good at all the drills, but when they break up into team to play games, he's too timid to go after the ball if another child has it.

Later in the afternoon we attended a block party organized by our block captain and his wife. Yes, I totally live in that type of neighborhood. Gabe had a great time. There was a treasure hunt and mini pumpkin painting as activities for the kids. They also invited our local (neighborhood) fire department, which was there for the first part of the party. There was also a ton of food. Nick ate an entire corn dog and loved it, even if it took him over an hour to eat it.

However, I only talked to the couple people I knew. One was a girl (and her family) that Oscar grew up with and the other were a couple we met in Gabe's gym class. I was too shy to go and introduce myself to anybody new, even though I wanted to. I don't know what I think is going to happen, but I can't seem to work up the courage to go up to somebody new and say "Hi, I'm Cookie. What's your name?" I feel ridiculous just typing that. And this is why I will never be the head of the P.T.A. Also, why all my friends are in the computer.

On Sunday, Oscar and I tried to take Gabe bowling, but that didn't work out too well. As usual Gabe was excited about the idea of bowling, but wasn't as interested in actually bowling. Also, he ended up spilling his soda everywhere (we let him get root beer as a special treat), which turned into a total meltdown. We left after one game. My score was as bad as usual (I never get above 100).

The rest of the day went better. I got a ton of stuff done around the house. All the laundry. I even organized all my sweaters, and discovered a bunch that I had forgotten about. Also got the boys playroom reorganized and lunches done for the week.

I feel so much more relaxed now that I'm taking an extended break from school. Getting up early to work out doesn't as feel as hard, because I'm able to go to bed earlier. I just feel better. I know I'm going to go back to school in January, because finishing my degree is important to me, but it's really nice to not have to work about homework for a while.

Starting a Routine

2009-10-02T10:17:00.003-04:00

I recently switched doctors, because I didn't like my old one and never went for any reason. It had been almost two years since I had seen any doctor besides my OB/GYN and a dermatologist, so it really was time. I scheduled a physical to get an initial assessment of my health and learned that my cholesterol is high. Since heart disease runs in my family, this is a huge concern. My weight has also crept up to 158, which is technically not classified as overweight for my height, but it's close.

I've let myself slip the past few months. I've started numerous exercise routines only to quit after a week or two. I haven't been eating well, usually eating decently during the day and then eating way too much junk in the evenings and on the weekends. So my weight may be on the high side of normal, but I don't want to be borderline and I want to be in shape.

This week I started a new diet of 1500 calories, and logging everything I eat at the DailyPlate. I'm also getting up every morning at 4:30 a.m. to exercise, which also means I'm going to bed by 9:00 p.m. My routine is to run for 30 minutes 3 times per week and strength train for 40 minutes twice a week to start with, ultimately working up to running for 45 minutes and strength training for an hour. I also am planning to sign up for a 5K in November, so I have something to work towards.

It's just so challenging. Especially when Nick has a bad night, and doesn't sleep well or wakes up while I'm working out. Or if I've had a stressful day at work, and all I really want to do is bury myself in a pint of Ben and Jerry's, but instead I have a nice healthy bowl of cereal. The weekends are the worst, because I'm away from my routine and have access to my entire pantry and fridge, which do not contain the most healthy of foods. Also, the boys have activities and we get together with friends, which makes it difficult too. Not to mention my Pumpkin Spice Latte addiction.

There are so many times I want to screw it, and I have. That's how my weight has crept back up and that's how my cholesterol got too high. I don't want to be unhealthy. So even when working out is the last thing I want to do, I'm going to do it.

This morning was a perfect example. Oscar was flexing today, so he was still in bed when my alarm went off (normally he leaves for work before 4:00 a.m). He told me I could just stay in bed and work out tonight, but I know I won't. It's too easy to come up with an excuse at the end of the day, especially on a Friday. I've worked hard this week. I'm tired. I've had a long day, ect. So I got up and worked out. And I feel so much better because I did.

I always wonder how other people deal with these challenges. How do you motivate yourself to work out and eat healthy even when it's the last thing you want to do?

Dealing with Discipline

2009-09-29T07:36:00.002-04:00

Last week Oscar and I started a type of chore chart for Gabe, with rewards for getting a certain amount of stamps on the chart for the week. Although really it's more about working through certain behaviors at this point, rather than chores. We're using printouts that you can get from Chuck E. Cheese, although we do not plan to go at the end of two weeks. Instead the plan is to go at the end of four weeks. Unfortunately we still are working out the kinks.

I'm reasonably certain that Gabe will be diagnosed with ADHD, it runs in my family, and he displays many of the same behaviors I associate with my brother who was diagnosed with it. It makes concentrating on what he is supposed to do difficult because he is so easily distracted, which can be said of most four-year-old boys, I supposed, but it's even more so in his case.

Last night for example he was supposed to be getting ready for bed, which starts with him getting undressed, which he is perfectly capable of doing. I asked him multiple times and even set the timer and got no results. At one point he was under his bed, still completely dressed. When I let him know that we wouldn't have time for stories if he didn't hurry, he threw a brush at me. There might have been a raised voice on my part, but still...

So he got picked up, placed on his bed, and the door closed until he was ready to get undressed. Then I had to remind him when he went to the bathroom and wash his hands, to not soap up his hair, because he was taking a shower. When his hand washing involved more noise than it should have, I had to stand with him while he brushed and flossed because there was no way it would get done in a reasonable time if I did not.

The entire time he was difficult and whiny, and did not end up getting story time. I always feel a little bad about that, because I like story time. I've brought out all of our Halloween stories, which are fun, and it's always nice to have him cuddled in my lap while I read. I just wish he wasn't so difficult some nights.

What about you? How do you deal when your child is determined not to listen?

A Year and a Half

2009-09-24T14:26:00.005-04:00

Today Nick is officially 18-months and he can do so many amazing things. I wish I captured more of them in pictures or on video. He still looks like a very large baby in his footie pajamas, but when I dress him in jeans and a t-shirt with tennis shoe he looks like such a little boy, it breaks my heart.

He's always been very much an individual, but lately he has been realizing that he is an individual. His emotions have been maturing. He's not just getting mad and then getting over it. He's getting mad and staying mad. He's learning to understand that actions have consequences beyond if I throw something down the stairs it's gone. It's now if I keep hitting my brother with this toy hammer I'm going to lose the toy hammer.

His vocabulary, is rapidly expanding. He knows so many words, and usually says both syllables for two-syllable words (although cats are mows). He thinks it's funny to call me by my name. When asked to say I love you, he says "luv luv". He will say please (pwease) or thank you (thanou) when prompted, although sometimes he'll say it on his own. If he hears the word eat he goes running to his highchair.

He can also understand complex commands. Such as go pick up that toy and put it in the playroom and then come upstairs for bath time. He insists on trying to walk up stairs by himself, which means I'm hovering behind him ready to catch him in case he starts falling backwards.

He's friendly and sweet to most people, but saves his cuddles for his family. He's a little overwhelmed by the large number of older children in his gym class. At 18-months he's the youngest student in a class that includes 3-year-olds. He loves to bounce and walk across the balance beam. He also likes to hang onto to a bar while I gently swing him back and forth. He loves the balls, but most of all he loves the bubbles.

He's really starting to get excited by books and will often spend a good 10 or 15 minutes entertained by flipping through a book. Especially if it is one of his beloved touchy-feely books, which amuse him to no end. He also loves books about Elmo, Dogs, and Monsters. He gets jealous of Gabe sitting in my lap at story time and will often try to crawl over him or behind him or otherwise distract me and get my attention.

He still wakes up at least once on most nights and usually gets up right before my alarm goes off. Sometimes I'll bring him into bed with me and we'll cuddle for a few minutes. He'll lay his head on my arm and I'll breath in the sweet scent of baby as I feel his chest rise and fall as he breathes. He doesn't like it if a try to read while we rock at bedtime. He wants my attention, and will either start kicking or grabbing at my book to get me to put it down. When I ask him if that's what he wants he says da (for some reason yes is da).

His latest fascination is with eyebrows, which I guess catch his attention while he drinking his bedtime bottle. He'll point to one and wait for me to name it. And then the other one. Then he'll point to each of his eyebrows. Sometimes we move on to eyelashes and eyes and forehead. Other times he'll just snuggle in to me.

And yes, I know, he really shouldn't still be getting a bottle of milk before bed, but we brush his teeth afterwards and only give him water if he wants a drink at night. He uses sippy cups for everything but milk, and always at meals. We're still working on milk in a cup.

He wears 18-24 month clothing and size 4 diapers. He wears size 5 shoes. He looks best in oranges and browns and greens. He looks adorable when he dances, waving his arms and stomping his feet as he turns in a circle. His whole face scrunches up when he smiles. His hair is still strawberry blond, and looks redder when the sun hits it. His eyes are a beautiful shade of pale brown that almost look translucent. Like if you took a piece of brown glass and held it up to the sun. He has 10 teeth - four on top in the front, two on the bottom in the front, and four molars.

He still gets excited when I get home from work, and expects me to drop everything and scoop him up, which I gladly do. He's learning to talk on the phone and will say hi, momma, and bye when I call. He's getting to be such a big boy. Where did the time go? Where did my baby go? It seems like only yesterday he was growing in my belly. Or that I brought him home from the hospital. Or we celebrated his first birthday.

Am I the only one that is sad their baby is growing up even while enjoying every new achievement?

I Just Wanna Be Mad for Awhile

2009-09-23T12:33:00.004-04:00

Nicholas is my baby. Of that there is no doubt. We have the bond that I knew was missing with my first-born. He loves his daddy, and often wants to go play with him. He adores his grandparents, especially his grandpa, and I love that my in-laws (er, MIL) watch the boys during the week. But Nick and I have a very special bond.

Just like with Gabe, I adored him from the moment he was born, but this time it was equally reciprocated. When he woke up crying he wanted Mama, and he still does. For him I feel like I top his list of favorite people, whereas with Gabe I often feel as though I’m an after thought. Oh look, it’s Mommy. I like Mommy (although he was really happy when I surprised him by showing up to his swim lesson this morning).

So it should come as no surprise that I was a little hurt on Sunday when Nick was mad at me. It should also come as no surprise that my toddler knew exactly what to do to show he was mad at me. Oh Mommy loves my attention and hugs and kisses, well, I will give it all to Daddy.

You see, I had committed the unforgivable act of putting him in his crib when it wasn’t time to sleep because I didn’t want him pulling the books off the bookshelf that I had just picked up for the 11 millionth time while trying to get ready to get out the door. He persisted in pulling books off, not to read, just to get a reaction, so I put him in his crib until I was finished getting dressed and was ready to dress him.

He spent a good deal of the rest of the day ignoring me. Calling for only Daddy. Running up and cuddling Daddy and then giving me evil looks (okay, I might be imaging the evil looks), and basically just letting me know that he wasn’t happy with me. He had forgiven me by bedtime, but still I was hurt that he could hold a grudge like that for that long over something small like having to sit in his crib full of stuffed animals, and a glowworm that sings.

Glad he didn't stay mad for too long, because I was missing my cuddly baby.

Tired Doesn't Even Begin to Cover It

2009-09-21T13:01:00.003-04:00

I spent this past weekend constantly on the go. Not that it wasn't a fun weekend, or rather Saturday was fun, it just that it was so much. And Nick topped it off with not sleeping last night, so I'm incredibly exhausted.

Our schedule for Saturday when like this:

7:00 - Eat breakfast
7:45 - Leave house to get coffee and get to Ashburn by 8:30 for Nick's gym class
8:30-9:15 - Nick's gym class
9:45 - Leave gym class to get back home
10:30-11:00 - Gabe's soccer pictures
11:00 - Eat lunch
12:00-1:00 - Gabe's soccer practice
1:15 - Leave to get to bowling alley
2:00-3:45 - Go bowling with friends
3:45 - Leave to get to opening day of local farm fall festival
4:00-6:00 - Hang out at fall festival with friends
6:00 - Leave fall festival and get McDonald's for dinner
6:30 - Put boys to bed
7:00-9:00 - Work on homework
9:30 - Go to bed

Nick's gym class went really well. He's still a little clingy when we're doing group activities, because he's the youngest at 18-months in a class that goes up to 3-years-old. However, during the activities he's a champ. He's getting so much more confident at certain skills, like jumping off boxes to me, or holding on to bars while I swing him or do a basket hang. His strength is increasing.

Gabe's soccer practice continues to be a mixed bag. He does really well at the drills, so we're not concerned with his ability. It's the practice games that they play that throw him. Oscar thinks it's because he's so shy. If he's the only one near the ball he'll kick it, or if his friend S. has it he'll go after it, but if it's a bunch of other children he backs off. I'm not sure how to build up his confidence in these situations, since I'm so shy myself.

Bowling was fun. Gabe was good for the first game, but started to get really restless during the second game. We met up with Gabe's favorite teacher from gym class and her two daughters, one is 5 and one is 3. They're both as shy as Gabe, so it was an interesting social situation. Gabe was also making the girls jealous because he adores his teacher and was trying to hang all over her. Again I was reminded that I rank at the bottom of Gabe's list of favorite females.

The fall festival was probably the highlight of Gabe's day, heck probably his whole month, since he's been asking to go since he first saw the pumpkins advertising the festival a month ago. Our friends had discount coupons for the opening day and invited us to go with them at a time that worked for us. Gabe had a great time playing with S. and C.

The first thing the kids did was play on this "hay stack" jungle gym that basically was a ton of hay bales all stacked together over tunnels and ladders. There were also a ton of slides, including one of those giant slides you go down on a burlap sack, which the kids did over and over. The hay ride was great - really long, and with lots of different scenes and "actors" set up as you went through woods and corn fields.

We were all exhausted by the time we left, and Nick fell asleep drinking a bottle before we even got to McDonald's for dinner. Unfortunately, I still had to work on homework before I could go to bed. Luckily this is my last class for a while, it ends this evening.

:::

On Sunday we stayed in for most of the day, leaving only to drop off my van to get the reverse sensor fixed. This was great for the boys, but I was too busy trying to tackle all the laundry to relax. Nick had three loads that needed to be folded. Plus his closet was a mess so I reorganized it. This was in addition to all the other laundry I did. I also made breakfast in the morning, nothing impressive, just Pillsbury cinnamon rolls and bacon, but we're trying to make it a family tradition to have a hot breakfast on Sundays.

I tried to take a nap mid day, going upstairs shortly after lunch and the start of Nick's nap, but Nick woke up shortly after I laid down so I missed out. He hasn't been feeling well the past few days, I think it's a combination of teething and a cold, but his stomach has been upset. He hasn't really been wanting solids.

I managed to do a couple of posts for school, but was too tired to work on a paper, so we went to bed early. However, sleep was not to be mine last night. Starting at 10, Nick was up every hour to hour and a half. At one point he spit up all the water he had been drinking and needed to be changed. It was not a good night for anyone involved. Luckily Gabe's a pretty sound sleeper and wasn't disturbed at all.

:::

I'm really looking forward to my extended break in school. I'd like to have time to establish a good exercise routine by the time I start class again in January. Not that the holiday season is the best time to start, but there's not time like the present. I also have my 5-year anniversary and a winter vacation to look forward to. Also, I might be able to catch up on some sleep.

Changing Routines

2009-09-17T07:17:00.004-04:00

Evenings are always hectic when I have to commute to work, which isn't often, but often enough to be inconvenient. My normal office is 10 minutes from my house, but occasionally I have to drive to a location that is about 30 minutes from my house without traffic, closer to an hour with traffic. After a long day and longish commute, I am always tense and exhausted when I walk in the door.

However, I am greeted by my two little boys who are always so happy to see me. Nick practically starts dance in his joy to get picked up by Mommy. Unfortunately I don't have much time to play with them, because there's dinner to be fixed, baths to be run, and two little boys that need to get ready for bed.

Last night was one of the good nights. Gabe ate pretty well and with little resistance. He even wanted more of his main meal (leftover Hamburger Helper beef stroganoff). He took a little too long to get ready to get in his bath. He decided he wanted to crab walk into his bedroom ("Mommy, I'm doing my exercises".) Nick was in a giggly cuddly mood. After his bath I put him on our bed and he was rolling around and giggling and begging to be tickled. A baby's laugh is one of the best sounds.

Story time was Halloween-themed. I pulled out all our Halloween books last weekend. So we read Little Einstein's: Halloween Surprise, which comes with lots of sparkly stickers. We followed that with a favorite - Go Away Big Green Monster, which is a fun story to read. Both the boys were giggling. It's educational too, as it identifies colors and parts of the face. You gradually add different features to the monster's face and then you take them all away. Finally, since Nick still loves both dogs and touch n' feel books, we read Biscuit's Pet and Play Halloween. I thought the retro Halloween costumes the children were wearing were cute.

After stories, Oscar tucks Gabe in and I go feed Nick a bottle before brushing his teeth. I know he's too old to be getting a bottle before bed, but I love the routine. So he gets his milk, and then his teeth brushed. When he wakes up at night looking for a drink, we just give him water. I try to read while he's drinking, which sometimes work. Other nights he gets irritated with the book and will bat at it or kick it until I put it down and pay attention to him.

He's really fascinated with facial features, especially eye brows. Every night he points to both my eye brows and waits for me to identify them. Then he'll point to his eyebrows. Sometimes he moves on to eye lashes and nose. Other nights he's just focused on the eyebrows. When he's done he wants me to wrap both my arms around him and cuddle, which I gladly do.

Gabe is usually still away when I'm done rocking Nick, so I'll usually go in there to kiss him good night again. I really do love being a mom. The amount of love I have for my boys is amazing.

After their in bed it's time for exercising or homework, often followed by TV. Last night we caught up on last Friday's Psych, which is one of my favorite shows. We go to bed between 9 and 9:30, so we rarely watch shows live. Tonight we'll probably watch last night's Glee (so cute), and tomorrow we'll watch the season premier of Bones (which I'm super excited about).

:::

In other non-related news, I recently (over Labor Day) cut and colored my hair. I had really long light brown hair with highlights that were way grown out. I hadn't done anything with it in quite some time. So I cut it just below my shoulders and dyed it a dark reddish brown (I know, I know, where's the picture).

I've been getting a lot of compliments at work. And a lot of comments about it making me look older and more professional. Apparently I didn't look old enough to be out of high school, let alone a working professional with two children. I get that a lot. I've been in the workforce for almost 10 years, including 5 in the military, and get discredited a lot because I look so young.

It's nice that people think I look young in most situations, but at work where most of the people are much older (like my mother's age), it's a liability.

Why I Blog

2009-09-15T11:48:00.004-04:00

I discovered the world of blogging about two years ago when I came across a blog called Mom Moments on REDBOOK.com. At the time it was written by two writers, one of which is the delightful Julia, who at the time, was pregnant with twins. It wasn't until after the birth of her twins that I discovered she had a personal blog. Shortly after I also discovered Bree's Parental Discretion Advised written on parents.com. I only recently discovered her personal blog, and am glad I did, since she is no longer writing on parents.com.

I have added many more personal blogs to my Google reader since then, and was also inspired to start my own blog last year. The reason that reading blogs by other women who are mothers is that it is nice to have people I relate to. Who have moments I can understand or ask for advice I can give. The reason I blog is because sometimes I have something I want to say or something I want to remember and want a place to put it. Does it matter that nobody but me reads it? No. It's a way to hold on to a feeling or a memory.

When I read a blog with an experience I can relate to, I go yes, exactly, I know how you feel. Or if somebody with a child my age is asking for advice on a situation I've experienced I'll offer a comment. I feel like I'm part of a larger community. The best post I've read lately on how conflicted we often feel as mothers is this one by Linda of All & Sundry. I have those feelings. I've had that moment.

At this time in my life I have limited interaction with women in a similar situation, and those I do interact with are usually much older.

I grew up in Washington State, and now live in Virginia, so all of my high school friends are still where I grew up.

I was in the military, which is how I met my husband, but not in Virginia. Any friends I had in the military have either gotten out and gone back home or traveled to another duty station.

I work full-time in a job where I am surrounded by people much older than me. The women I do work with either have no children or grown children. When I'm home I'm interacting with my boys or doing schoolwork online, where I don't meet people.

I'm not in a position where I have the opportunity to meet many like-minded people. This is why blogging is so important. I can air my feelings in a semi-anonymous forum. I can read blogs written by women whose situations I can often relate to and understand. I can write comments and participate in this community. I feel like it is a place where I belong.

My Sister's Keeper

2009-09-10T07:38:00.004-04:00

I finished reading My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult last weekend and have had trouble defining whether or not I liked the book. I've read a bunch of reviews on Amazon, which are mostly positive. There were some complaints about the switching viewpoints and the alternating between past and present tense within various characters viewpoints, mainly Brian and Sara. That didn't bother me. I liked seeing the various viewpoints and also like knowing some of the past events that led to this point.

Many people also had an issue with Sara, who didn't come across as the most sympathetic character. She was a little hard to like, but I understood. As a mother I understood the desire to do anything and everything I could if it meant it could help my child.

That part that bothered me was the ending. I think I liked the book until I got to the ending, which is why I can't decide if I liked the book. I felt that the author cheapened the story with her choice for an ending. It didn't feel realistic. It didn't feel like this was the way the story was supposed to end. For those of you that have not read it, I won't spoil it here, but I will say that it's not how you will expect or want the story to end.

I did like the writing, and was really invested in Anna's story. As much as I felt bad for Kate, and her parents, it was Anna who I was rooting for. She's a girl who wants the chance to live, even at the expense of her sister. She's a girl who wants her sister to live, but struggles with the idea that it might be at the expense of her.

I would recommend the story if only because I really liked it until I reached the ending.

Wanting More

2009-09-09T12:01:00.001-04:00

I want another baby.

Another little boy to chase after his brothers and wear their old clothes. Or a little girl to try and stuff into dresses when she’d rather chase after her brothers.

Even as I worry that I have too little patience and get stressed too easily I want more. More children to love. More children to call me mama. More children to watch grow. Even if it is just one more. I want more.

I don’t feel done. I don’t feel that my family is complete. I adore the two boys that I have. I love watching them learn new things. I love their delight in the simple. A pile of rocks. A small fountain. A caterpillar. I want to watch it again an again.

Even as I worry that they will resent not having the most playful mother. Or a mother that doesn’t stay home and bake. Or a mother that doesn’t like to be outdoors. I want more.

I want them to be close. I want large family gatherings at the holidays or summer barbecues. I want lots of grand babies. I want a full house.

Even as I worry that I’m not ready for more. That I might never be ready for more. Even as I miss not having space and no longer being just me. I want more.

The Plight of the Working Mother

2009-09-09T09:18:00.002-04:00

This week my MIL is in Alaska to help my SIL who just had her first baby. My MIL’s other son, is currently deployed, and has been for most of his wife’s pregnancy. He is not supposed to be back until right before Christmas. My SIL’s mother decided to not come out for the birth or to help her daughter, who was induced nine days after her due date. An induction that turned into a c-section, which is the complete opposite of the natural birth my SIL wanted.

Unfortunately I am not able to be home all day with my boys. I have limited leave and a fairly inflexible schedule. I need to be at work during the core hours and in contact with my coworkers. I also took a half day last Friday, so that Oscar could work a 10 hour day, because my MIL needed to be at the airport by noon, and Gabe had his first fall session gym class at 12:30. So instead Oscar is going in at 2 a.m. and working until 6 a.m. to get home in time for me to work my normal hours since I don’t have enough leave to cover the week, and want to save a day or two for the holidays.

I know this is the arrangement that works best for ensuring that our boys are cared for during the day. Yet I still feel guilty. I feel like I should be the one at home with them. I’m uncomfortable being at work when they’re at home. I know there’s no reason I should feel this way. This was the arrangement that made the most sense, and Oscar is perfectly capable of caring for them. And yet I do. I want to be fixing their meals and taking them to the playground. I don’t want to be reading documents and sitting in meetings.

It’s harder to have them at home with Oscar than it is to leave them with my MIL. Perhaps it’s because Oscar is usually in the same boat, working like I am. Perhaps it’s because she’s a more hands on mother than I could ever be so I know that they are doing way more with her than they would ever do with me. I still feel guilty, which seems to be part of being a working mother, but not as guilty. If that makes any sense.

It doesn’t help that I feel like I get so little time with my boys and that the time I do get with them is either after a long day at work when I’m exhausted or on the weekends when there are errands to run and chores to do. Our time together isn’t quality playtime. I’m either too tired or too busy to sit in their playroom and build towers out of blocks.

I resent not being able to be a stay-at-home mom, even as I know that it is not practical or even the best role for me to have. I feel guilty for not being able to be at home with my boys this week, even though I know that they’re well cared for by Oscar. Being a working mother is not an easy role, even though I know that it is the best role for me to have.

Diaper Failure

2009-09-04T09:53:00.003-04:00

Do you ever have those mornings, when you're trying to get out the door for work with the kids, and everything seems to be going okay, and then all of the sudden something happens and now you're late for work? Yeah, today was one of those mornings.

Both Gabe and Nick slept in until 6:20 this morning, which is great for them, especially Nick. Although, Nick was asleep on our bed, rather than in his crib, because I cuddled him back to sleep when he woke up at 5:13. So I decided that instead of getting them dressed before going to my MIL's, I would just leave them in their pajamas. I've done this on occasion, and normally still change Nick's diaper. This morning I decided not to, because gee, what could happen in the 15 minutes it will take to get into the car and drive to my MIL's?

A lot apparently. As we were walking down the stairs to the basement, I suddenly felt something warm and wet on my hand (Nick was sitting on my hip), and look down and see that his entire left leg is soaking wet. I was like okay, fine, I'll just change him, his clothes and a diaper are in the diaper bag. No big deal. So I change him and then get up to walk out the door and notice that my left leg is soaked, and then realize my nylon is too. So I pick Nick up and go to get my lunch bag off the floor. The outside of that is covered with warm dripping liquid too.

So I go upstairs to grab the only other pair of clean grey pants I have. Because my third pair is at the cleaners. I don't wear this pair often because they have pockets that bulge out on my hips, and are a little snug on my hips, but it's all I've got, because I don't want to change anything else I'm wearing. Then I put my lunch in a fresh bag, and finally get out the door about 10 minutes later than normal. It could have been worse. I should have changed Nick's diaper.

I use Huggies Overnights for Nick at night, and usually they serve me well, but we still on occasion have diaper failure. Usually it happens while I'm holding him, which means that not only does he have to be changed, but I need to change too. I had it happen in the middle of the night once while I was rocking him back to sleep and he was curled up chest level. Had to change his diaper and pjs, and then change my pjs.

Gabe's actually gotten a lot better at night. We used to regularly have pull-up failure and he would need clean sheets and pjs, but ever since we switched him to a twin bed, he hasn't had that issue. It usually happened in the very early mornings, and lately he's been waking up at that time if he needs to go. He also refuses to go poopy in his pull-ups so he usually wakes up if he needs to poop.

(I know, more than your really needed to know about my children's bathroom habits).

Sleep-Deprived Parenting

2009-09-02T15:51:00.004-04:00

Nick has started this wonderful new habit of waking up 10-15 minutes before my alarm is set to go off. This leaves me with the dilemma of rolling over and attempting to ignore him (resistance is futile) or getting up and getting him before he decides to climb over the rail and land on his head. I've been alternating picking him up and rocking him for a few minutes and bringing him back to bed with me, so I can lay down for a few more minutes. Not sure which option is best.

He then spends the rest of the time we're at home, while I'm trying to get ready, getting into anything and everything. To include trying to wake up Gabe, who usually sleeps until at least 6 a.m., sometimes later. Usually I'm fast enough to catch Nick before he bangs on the door, but some mornings, like today, he gets there before I get to him. I feel bad for Gabe, who actually wants to sleep, but can't due to the fact that Nick wants to attention him.

The boys are really displaying signs of a strong friendship. Although the sharing thing is becoming a big issue. The area that used to be Gabe's playroom is now a shared playroom, but it still has a gate on it that Gabe can open and close, but Nick can't. Often, Gabe likes to close the gate so Nick can't get in, because he doesn't want to share. That is always followed by Nick yelling at the gate. They also have issues with toys in general - they both inevitably want whatever toy the other one is playing with.

The one thing they're good about is sharing what they watch on TV. Nick is generally okay with watching whatever Gabe wants to watch. Lately though, he has been requesting Elmo on TV. We have some cute DVDs - Elmo Goes Green and Abby in Wonderland seem to be popular with both. The green Elmo makes Nick very giggly. It is nice to have something that they don't fight over.

I really enjoy watching the relationship develop between my boys. It was one of the main reasons Oscar and I wanted to have a second child, and a big factor in why we want to have a third child. We love that they are close, and we want them to continue to be close. Watching them together is so rewarding, and yet another reason why I feel so lucky to be their mom.

Dancing in September

2009-09-01T15:26:00.001-04:00

I love September. Then again I was always one of those crazy kids who looked forward to going back to school. It always meant new clothes and school supplies. New classes and reconnecting with friends. I also have always loved the fall holidays, the changing of the leaves and the crispness in the air.

I don’t have to worry about school for Gabe for another year, but fall has come to mean some new things for me. One is that it is pumpkin flavor season. Everybody seems to break out pumpkin flavored things. Some are not so good (pumpkin flavored smoothie, so gross). Others top my list of favorite foods, like pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin cheesecake, and pumpkin pancakes.

Fall also includes my anniversary. We got married on October 30^th, which just happened to be the best Saturday for us in October of 2004. Oscar remains irritated that it is the day before Halloween, and I admit that the date could be better, but it’s still something to look forward to. This year we will be celebrating five years together. We’re trying to plan what to do.

Originally we were going to spend the night at a hotel, but I think we’re ditching that in favor of a nice dinner at the Melting Pot, followed by a relaxing night alone. The boys will be watched overnight by my MIL. It will be our first night away from Nick, which is a little scary, but she does have a crib where he takes naps during the day, and we’ll make sure she has a monitor, since his crib is on a different floor from her bedroom.

This fall, or rather starting this September, I’m making an effort to make my health a priority. I’ve started an exercise routine and diet, numerous times and failed this summer, and realize that perhaps I have too much on my plate right now to really make it stick. In light of that, I’m thinking of taking a break from my degree. I’m starting my third week of Business Law right now, and think that it might be a good idea not to take anymore classes until next year. Start fresh in January.

I officially started last night by dusting off my treadmill and running for 30 minutes. Tonight I plan to strength train. Ideally I’d like to run three days a week, strength train two, and maybe stretch or do yoga one day on the weekend.

As for my diet, Slimfast seems to be working really well for me. I really don’t feel that hungry having a Slimfast first thing in the morning and again for breakfast, along with small snacks and a Lean Cuisine for dinner. It’s the reason I lost so much weight after having Gabe, and I think I will be successful using it again. I’m also trying to cut out more of the extras on the weekends, like eating out for every meal, and snacking on chips and ice cream. The only thing I have a hard time giving up on the weekends are my lattes, see love of pumpkin spice lattes above.

Fall has always felt more like a time for fresh starts than the New Year. I have a lot of good intentions and Oscar’s support. So hopefully I can achieve the results I’m looking for, while still enjoying the fall treats I love.

Back to School

2009-08-27T13:41:00.000-04:00

Oscar and I’ve made the decision to not put Gabe in preschool. However, we still want him to get exposure to other children and other adults as teachers. So we’ve decided to sign him up for a few classes/activities.

I’ve mentioned before that he’s in a gym class, or rather a sports class. He took a break from it this summer, but will be starting again next week. They’ll be learning about football and basketball. He will also be starting soccer again in a couple weeks, and this time they’ll be playing actual games.

Our local rec center also offers classes for preschool-aged children. Our friends S. and A. have signed up their girls for a bunch of classes, so Oscar and I selected a couple from their schedule to sign Gabe up for too. He’ll being doing a science class and a swim class. I think he’s looking forward to these the most, since he knows he’ll get to see S. and C. on a regular basis.

I’ve questioned our decision not to put Gabe in preschool many times. I worry that he won’t be ready for kindergarten next year. I worry that he’ll be behind his peers. I worry that he’ll have behavior problems (in case you couldn’t tell, I worry a lot). I also know that even though he’ll be one of the youngest in his class, that it’s not fair not to start him next year since all of his friends will be starting.

I hope the classes we’re signing him up for this fall, and the ones we’ll sign him up for in the spring will be enough to prepare him to start school. I want him to feel comfortable at school and enjoy it. These will be some of the best years of his life and they will really shape who he is as he grows up. I know Oscar and I will still have a huge influence in it, but so will his peers.

Welcome to Toddlerville

2009-08-26T10:20:00.001-04:00

So life with a toddler, especially when that toddler is teething and has a cold, is not exactly the most fun you’ll ever have. This morning was a prime example. Nick was mad at me about something; I think it was not letting him go downstairs, so he proceeded to throw books everywhere. The bottom shelf of my bookcase (which is devoted to his books), all pulled off. The little book shelf in Gabe’s room, random books were pulled off, spread throughout Gabe’s room, and the hallway.

Last night was just as bad. I wouldn’t let him pull clothes hangers down to play with so he ran over to my bathroom cabinet and opened it and started reaching in with the intent to throw things out of it. I caught him before he could grab anything and he started howling at me.

Gabe’s not much better when he’s in a mood (oh and sick). I was trying to discuss something with Oscar, and Gabe choose that moment to start making “music”, which involved banging on a small clanky toy piano with one hand, while banging various objects on the metal wall vent in his playroom.

At least they love each other, when they’re not fighting over toys. The highlight of Nick’s morning is when Gabe gets up, since inevitably Nick gets up before Gabe (he also gets rather miffed if I don’t let him go wake Gabe up when he wants to play with him). Nick will squeal with delight when he sees Gabe and then proceed to hug/tackle Gabe.

It doesn’t help that everyone seems to have come down with a cold. The type where your throat feels like it’s on fire and you’ve got this hacking cough that sounds like you smoke a pack a day, which I most certainly do not (and never did even when I did smoke). I can only imagine how the boys are feeling if Oscar and I feel this awful.

I feel awful, and the only way I’m getting through feeling awful and having to be at work and going to school is that on Friday I get to spend the morning at the Leesburg outlet mall, which always makes me enormously happy, even if I don’t but anything.

:::

Tonight is Nick’s last gym class of the summer session. It is also his last evening gym class. Fall session starts next week and Nick moves up a level. Unfortunately his next class would be at 6:30 on Wednesdays, not get done until 7:15, and we would get home until almost 8:00, which is much too late for him to be up. So we will be switching to Saturdays at 8:30.

I’m not sure what I think about having to be out the door by 8:00 a.m. every Saturday, but at least there will be coffee. If I leave the house early enough I can at least spend all of October sipping a Wild Pumpkin coffee concoction from Caribou every Saturday. And if that’s not worth it, I’m not sure what is.

However, I was supposed to be talking about Nick’s last gym class, not Wild Pumpkin coffee as good as that is. I’m a little worried about class tonight, since Nick (and everybody else) isn’t feeling well. But I don’t want to miss it since it is the last class. Oscar has been going with him lately, so I’m anxious to see some of his new tricks. Also want to get his teacher’s e-mail, since she is a favorite of both the boys, so that we can get together outside of class.

So I think we’ll go. Nick isn’t too coughy and his nose isn’t runny. I think the rest of us will just suck it up so he gets this last experience before moving up a class and to Saturdays.

I Think We'll Win Again

2009-08-25T09:48:00.004-04:00

I know it’s early for a Halloween post, considering that we’re still in August, but we just bought our costumes, and I’m excited. I love fall!

Every year the community where we live does a costume parade a couple weeks before Halloween. Everybody dresses up and they hand out prizes for the best costumes. At the end local businesses have booths where the kids can go trick or treating. This year will be the third year that we’ve marched in the parade.

Last year our friend S. convinced us to do a Wizard of Oz theme with them, and we ended up winning first place in the contest. A. is an artist and decorated their wagon as the Emerald City. We had all the major characters covered. Gabe was the Scarecrow. Nick was the Cowardly lion. Oscar was the Tin Man. I was a munchkin. S. was the Wicked Witch of the West. A. was a flying monkey. Their older daughter, S., was Glinda and their younger daughter, C., was Dorothy.

This year we’ve decided to do a Sesame Street theme. A. is going to decorate their wagon to look like the backdrop from Sesame Street. S. and I are going to be Bert and Ernie (I’m Bert). Oscar is, of course, going as Oscar the Grouch. A. will be the Count. Gabe is going as Cookie Monster and Nick will be going as his beloved Elmo. The girls will be going as Abby Cadabby (S.) and Big Bird (C.) S. has also convinced her cousin, who’s staying with them, to march with us and he will be Super Grover.

I’m really looking forward to it. It’s been a good time every year that we’ve gone, and even if we don’t win I’m sure we’ll have a good time this year.

The area where we live really loves Halloween. Besides the parade, the local farms also have huge fall celebrations. Gabe has been asking for months when he gets to go to the pumpkin patch, which is no ordinary pumpkin patch. They have animals, and pony rides, and giant slides, and hay rides, and a corn maze, and lots of food. It’s always crowded in the fall. Many of the schools do field trips there.

I wasn’t able to go to the pumpkin patch with Gabe last year due to Nick and work, so Oscar went alone. This year I’ll be going too. I love watching my boys get so excited about things. Their joy makes it that much more enjoyable for me. So many things are new again to me again now that I’m experiencing them with my children. Gabe’s excitement over pumpkins and costumes, and trick or treating feels tangible, as though I could capture it and bottle it and take it out and feel years from now when he’s grown.

Not Ready

2009-08-24T11:29:00.005-04:00

I think it might be time to switch Nick to a toddler bed, or at least that's what Oscar and my MIL think, and it scares me and hurts my heart a little at the same time. I mean, he's not even 18-months! I'm not ready for this.

I love walking into his room after he wakes up to see him standing there clutching the crib rails. I love lifting him out and having him bury his head in my shoulder where I can sniff his sweet baby smell and cuddle his footsie-clad body. I'm not ready for a little boy who leaps from his bed and runs into my room whenever he feels the urge to be out of bed.

The problem is that his crib can't be dropped any lower (well, I guess it could drop another inch and a half, but we're missing a bolt for the corner on the lowest setting from moving it so much). Nick's can practically hang over the top of the crib now. He has recently started trying to climb out. He did, with some success last week, landing on a couple stuffed animals and his diapered bottom, which surprised him. This morning I walked in and he had one leg over the rail.

I'm worried that he could really hurt himself. I've been doing some research and the average age that most children switch is two, so I have about seven months before we get there. Recommendations for protecting little climbers include those mesh tents to put over the top and blankets or cushions on the floor. This is in addition to dropping the crib as low as it can go, which we can't do.

I'm not ready to let go of my baby. I still want the crib and the bottle and the rocking chair. I know his growing up is inevitable, he reminds every day how quickly he is leaving babyhood behind as he races towards childhood. I just wish it weren't happening so quickly. Even as I adore the child he is becoming, I miss the baby that he was.

Plateau

2009-08-20T11:56:00.002-04:00

So I've reached a plateau in my weight-loss journey. I've reached that "comfort weight" where I struggle to lose anything beyond that, even if I'm not happy with the way I look. Especially my "mummy tummy". I work out about 5 days a week, sometimes twice a day. I'm watching what I eat during the week, although I'm not as good on the weekends. Particularly when it comes to my coffee. I really heart Starbuck's White Mocha and am looking forward to fall coffee.

I just bought a Wii and a Wii fit, which I'm going to set up and try out this weekend. I'm also thinking about starting a Couch to 5K program, which will hopefully prepare me not to embarrass myself in my first 5K, which will be in November. I'm going to try something new, or rather something old, for my dieting. I've been on Nutrisystem, which hasn't been working for me. So I'm going to try Slimfast again.

I would really like to be down to my goal weight by my anniversary on October 30th, so that means I have 2 and a half months to lose 15 lbs. That could be really difficult. Especially with fall coffee starting. Perhaps if I make that my only treat, I could still be successful? I'd like to think so. It just means careful attention to my eating and lots of working out. I have 10 weeks, so that amounts to about 1.5 lbs per week.

Also, as a side-note, how cute is this top: http://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=46701&vid=1&pid=720853? I so want it.

Celebrate

2009-08-18T11:39:00.003-04:00

This past weekend was one of celebration. Some friends of ours, who were unable to make it to Gabe's birthday party, invited us out to Chuck E. Cheese on Saturday to celebrate with him. It was fun to catch up with them, we haven't had a chance to hang out in a while. Gabe had a great time playing with their girls. I know he misses them.

They all did a bunch of games and rides, as well as climb through the jungle gym (I don't know what else to call it). We had snack foods and pizza and soda, all delicious junk food. Nick also went on a few rides, and would have climbed through the jungle gym had we let him.

The pure joy a place like Chuck E. Cheese causes kids is so cute to watch. Although the one we went to was no where near as good as the one I went to as a kid. This one only has an animated Chuck E., the rest of the characters are on a TV screen. Also, no ginormous ball pit, and wasn't that one of the best parts? The best one I ever went to was in Olympia, WA. Trust me, it's huge!

I had a lot of birthday parties there, and as a December baby, truly enjoyed hearing Feliz Navidad sung to me by a large robotic mouse.

:::

On Sunday we went out to the Golden Corral to celebrate my FIL's birthday, which was early last week. The Golden Corral is like the King of buffets. It's huge and noisy and crowded and has tons of food. Again, not exactly diet friendly. Although I don't think I did too badly. In addition to my FIL, my MIL, SIL, FIL's sister, and MIL's brother also came. Plus Oscar, myself, and the boys. We had quite a party going on, and of course, Oscar and I were relegated to last place as far as the boys attention was concerned.

One thing that bothered me was my SIL getting Gabe dessert while Oscar and I were in the bathroom. She didn't ask us, she just waited until we left, and then got Gabe a big thing of ice cream and candy. We limit Gabe's sweets, especially since he rarely eats a lot for dinner. He had already had a little ice cream and a couple gummy bears, and it was close to his bedtime. Plus, sugar and dyes really mess with his system. Not sure how we should have handled this. He was already eating it by the time we got back and there were a bunch of people there.

:::

Other than going out to celebrate birthdays, we had a pretty low-key weekend playing with the boys around the house and doing house work.

Check Up, Mate

2009-08-13T15:02:00.004-04:00

Gabe had his 4-year check up yesterday, which went really well. He remains in the 50th percentile for both height and weight, so I guess my fears about him not eating enough are pointless. Apparently his ribs are supposed to be visible and his stomach is supposed to be hollowed out at this age.

He just looks so skinny. And lives on carbs. Mac and Cheese, plain past noodles, cheerios, animal crackers, bread... peanut butter and chocolate milk are his main source of protein. Occasionally he eats hot dogs and hamburgers. He also eats strawberries, bananas, grapes, and apples. However, I was assured that his diet was just fine and the he is healthy.

We also discussed behaviour, Gabe often has tantrums that spiral out of control, and we discussed methods for dealing with this. Including a sticker chart for good behaviour, and putting him in a safe room until he was ready to calm down. However, we were told that it should get a lot better now that he's 4.

He also demonstrated his motor skills - walking, running, jumping, balancing, as well as writing. He was able to successfully draw a circle and a plus sign, but not a square, which is normal for his age and gender. Also, it is normal for him not to be able to color inside the lines in his coloring books.

One of the things I love about our pediatrician practice is that all the doctors listen to our worries and concerns and address them, as either that's normal or here's something you can do to work on that. It's a very comforting practice and Oscar and I are very happy that we found them.

On a side note, Nick was bothered by the fact that the appointment was not about him and had to be the loudest person in the room. Every time any one went to talk he had to yell over them. He also was running around the room, playing with the blinds, and climbing the chairs. If you tried to hold him he would squirm or scream until he got down. Welcome to the toddler years.

Note to self: Don't take Nick to the doctor if the appointment is not about him.

Weekend, Revisited

2009-08-11T14:42:00.004-04:00

This past weekend was fairly relaxing, as far as weekends up the country go. That is if you count chasing after a toddler in a non-child-proofed house relaxing. Nick was a bloody terror the whole weekend, wanting to get into everything and climb on everything. And it's not like I could have him outside for too long. Oscar and my MIL were busy working on the shed, and the bugs and heat were awful.

Friday was my first flex day and it was wonderful. Oscar and I drove to IKEA and Potomac Mills. We got the slats for Gabe's bed, and then went outlet shopping. I was able to get a couple new outfits, we picked up a present for my SIL who is due any day now, some polos for Oscar, and some ubercheap winter shirts for the boys.

After shopping we picked up Nick, so my MIL could head up the country with Gabe. Oscar and I packed and then went out to a late lunch at Red Lobster - so good. Nick ate fairly well, although he is in a throwing food phase, so a lot of food ended up on the floor too. My favorite is when he swishes both arms back and forth over the table or tray to get as much food as far from his highchair as he can.

After lunch we drove up the country and Oscar and his mom started work on the shed right away. I focused on getting the boys some dinner and then getting Nick ready for bed. Oscar and I went on a car ride with Nick afterwards and I got some delicious ice cream - soft serve with blueberries in blueberry syrup and chunks of cheesecake. (I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that I worked out for an hour Friday morning.)

On Saturday I stayed inside most of the day with Nick, while Oscar and his mom worked on the shed. We bought a DVD player so that I could have some cartoons in the background as Gabe traipsed in and out of the house. He didn't like being cooped up for too long, but got too hot and was bothered by the bugs outside. Oscar took a break midday to put together the little gas grill we bought for the country house and grill some hot dogs and hamburgers.

As a reward for good behavior, while he and his mom were working on the shed, Oscar and I took the boys out to dinner at the local sit-down Pizza Hut. Nick was, again, a charming terror with his food. And I am shamed to admit that I ate almost half a large pizza by myself. My MIL chose to stay home and relax a little without the boys.

On Sunday I took Nick on a drive to Starbucks by myself. I had hoped he would nap during the trip, but no such luck. Oscar spent most of the day working on the shed, and they were able to get everything done, but the doors, which they'll finish when we go back up the end of the month.

As usual, the rest of Sunday was hectic, what with grocery shopping and getting ready for the work week. I'm filling in for a coworker this week, so I had to get a few more things together than normal, since it I'm not working in my normal office and having to commute.

:::

This past weekend really enforced the fact that Nick is no longer a baby. He is now a toddler. At times I felt like he was really starting the terrible twos early. His vocabulary and comprehension are excellent, his coordination is much improved, as is his ability to scale most objects. Also, the tantrums and the food throwing. They're driving me up the wall! On many occasion I wished I had a ~~cage~~ playpen to contain him in temporarily.

Bad Habits

2009-08-07T16:23:00.000-04:00

I don't really miss alchohol. I mean sure I occassionally will have a glass of wine or a mixed drink with dinner, but I don't crave it. I don't think, gee, I wish I could have a drink right now. Although, if I did, it would come as no suprise. I come from a family of alchoholics. I also drank a lot during those early years in the military. I was young and single and so very lonely. Alchohol was a way to help the loneliness, it was social, and so was I.

However, unlike alchohol, I do miss cigarettes. Another bad habit I picked up while stationed in South Korea. I was addicted and it was hard for me to quit. That is, until I got pregnant. Do I turn up my nose when I smell cigarette smoke? Of course. Unless... I'm alone and it's menthol and then I might inhale a little deeper than I probably should. Do I want my children around it. Of course not. I think all public areas should be smoke-free (hint hint, local bowling alley).

Whereas alchohol helped make me more social, smoking was social. I remember many occasions spent in the smoke shacks at work with other fellow smokers trading stores and jokes and making weekend plans, while having one or two, or maybe even three cigarettes on break. I made a lot of friends while smoking.

It relaxed me. It calmed me. And I miss it. Would I ever go back to it? That's a hard question. Do I know how unhealthy it is? Yes. But I want to. I learned a lot of useful things during the five years I served, but I also picked up a few bad habits

Making Progress

2009-08-06T15:37:00.003-04:00

So this morning, Gabe called me into his room about 10 minutes before his "alarm" (this totally awesome night light) went off and told me that he needed to go to the bathroom. He still wears pull-ups at night, and sometimes even those aren't strong enough, but this morning he was completely dry. I was so proud of him for recognizing that he needed to go potty when it was still technically night time for him.

:::

Nick finally had another tooth pop through a couple weeks ago, which briefly improved his sleeping habits. However, he is now working on a molar, and it is making him miserable. Not only is regularly waking up at night in pain, he is also not eating very much, which isn't like him. The not eating is also causing his stomach to hurt and causing painful bowel movements. I feel so bad for him. It's so frustrating that teething can cause so wreak so much havoc on his little body.

:::

I have consistently worked out four days in a row. Not that it has made much difference on the scale. I wasn't very hungry last night so I just had soup (very high in sodium soup) and the scale was up 4 pounds over night. So frustrating. I'm working so hard, and it isn't making a difference. I know it's just one day, but I want to be able to see changes. I want to know that what I'm doing is going to get me to where I want to be.

Oscar doesn't help. Tomorrow will be my first flex day and I've mentioned that I'm really trying to eat better, and he suggests going out to eat at one of my favorite restaurants. And of course if I'm eating there should I get some boring healthy thing or should I get my favorite? Of course, I'll probably get my favorite and he'll encourage it. I know he's just trying to be sweet, but it makes it so hard to follow a diet if your partner isn't.

:::

A couple weeks ago Oscar started helping his mom put together her shed at the country house, and they only succeeded in getting the foundation done. We're going up again tomorrow afternoon, with the hopes that they can get the rest of the shed finished. At the very least, Oscar wants to get the walls up. If they can't finish it this weekend, it will have to wait until September.

Going to the country house on the weekends is never the most pleasant prospect for me. I'm not outdoorsy, so going trekking through the woods, where I get eaten alive when I'm not breaking out in hives from all the plants I'm allergic to, isn't really an option. Also there is limited cable and no interned. Plus, the house is like a toddler death-trap, so I have to be on constant alert while we're there. It's just not a good time for me.

Gabe, loves it, even though I'm pretty sure he has allergies, not to mention my highly edible, very pale, sensitive skin. He would happily spend most of the day outside. So would Nick for that matter, but again, it's not exactly safe for him. So we go out for short periods before returning to the indoor death-trap, only slightly less dangerous, but more contained.

I'm never sure what I'm supposed to do while I'm up there. My MIL seems to think caring for Gabe is her responsibility, as is providing all food other than milk for Nick. She also seems to want to help on the shed, which is where Gabe wants to be. So that leaves me to watch Nick, whom I adore, but I just feel a little useless. It's hard to read because I have to be so vigilant of where Nick is and what he's getting into. And like I said limited cable and no internet.

We'll be going up again at the end of August for the county fair. My MIL will be in Alaska visiting my SIL and her new baby, so it will be just the four of us. I think we'll have a more relaxing weekend, but I'm still not sure how I'll spend the time we're not at the fair.

Flexing It

2009-08-05T15:19:00.005-04:00

I've recently decided that I would benefit from an extra day off every couple of weeks. However, I really don't have the vacation days available to do so. Oscar suggested that find out if I could work a flex schedule. At first I considered working a 10-hour shift and having every Friday off, but finally decided that I just couldn't do 10 hour days, but 9 hours was doable, especially since I often worked longer hours any way.

I got approval from my boss and worked out a childcare arrangement with Oscar. I drop off the boys at my MIL's in the morning shortly before 7 a.m. and he picks up the van at a quarter to 3 p.m. and then gets the boys. This way I'm getting home about a half later than I would have been had I left around 3 p.m. and picked up the boys myself.

My extra days off are really for me. A chance to sleep in or schedule appointments or catch up on school work if I need to. They are also a time that I could pick up the boys early or go on a date with Oscar.

This Friday will be my first day off and I'm really looking forward to it. Oscar is also taking the day off, so he's going to drop off the boys for me and let me relax in bed a little longer. Then we're going to go IKEA (to get those wooden slats we need), grab lunch, and then head up to the country house early.

I used to flex in my first job out of the military, that is after I came back from maternity leave. My coworker took Fridays, so I chose to take Mondays. Usually I kept Gabe and enjoyed an extra day with him, which was usually pretty relaxing. Not sure it would be the same way with two children. Although it is something I might consider to enjoy extra time with them.

Four Years and Sixteen Months

2009-08-04T08:25:00.001-04:00

I have started my quest to lose weight yet again yesterday. I got up early and worked out for 30 minutes and then worked out again yesterday evening for 30 minutes. I was very good about sticking to my diet with the exception of four Swedish Fish.

I have posted before photos the Flickr: Accountability group. However I will also post them here for your voyeuristic viewing pleasure. I know, I know, I'm a little crazy. I was too self-conscious to wear anything but a tankini to the beach where I was surrounded by thousands of strangers I will never see again, but I'll post it in my blog for the entire Internet to enjoy if they so choose. Somehow it's less scary. I don't know why, but it is. I hope to post photos showing much improvement in 6 weeks.

I realize I'm not doing that badly for a mother of two. I have a 4-year-old and a 16-month-old, and I'm at my prepregnancy weight of 153. It's just not a weight that I'm proud of. It's not a weight that says hey, I look good.

I'm trying to be consistent with my exercising and eating better. It's much harder on the weekends when I don't have consistent schedule. I love to eat out. I love sweets. I love breakfast foods. Oscar, loves to indulge me. It's not a good combination. We go out and do things a lot on the weekends. Go up to the country house, like this coming weekend, or spend time with friends. It's hard to ensure that making healthy choices in these situations.

I'm trying to figure out the best way to reward myself for hard work without turning to food. I've thought about getting new clothing or going to the salon for a pedicure or massage. Or even just a long bath with a yummy smelling bath fizzy (this one is a favorite). Too often I turn to a high-calorie restaurant meal or a container of Phish Food. Unfortunately after a weekend of that and I've undone all my hard work from the week before.

Party On, Gabe

2009-08-03T10:40:00.007-04:00

Yesterday was Gabe's 4th birthday, and I think it was a great day. He had a good time, and the party went well, and that's what's important. Although I have to admit, I think he's a little weird, because he really didn't have any interest in cake or ice cream, however, frosting was acceptable.

We started the day with a trip to Starbucks (for me, not him), while Oscar finished putting together his IKEA bed. I got a couple of calls complaining about IKEA furniture and the challenges of putting it together with a toddler running about. Unfortunately we forgot to buy those nice wooden slats I linked to on Friday, so the mattress didn't fit. Since it was coming from our guest bed, we did have a box spring, which did fit the frame, it just made the bed super high. So Gabe needs a step stool to get on his bed. He loves it, which is what counts. He was so excited to see the big bed with his Handy Manny sheets.

Shortly after that Oscar's parents and sister came over so we could all go out to breakfast at IHOP. When we got there the waiters were singing happy birthday to someone, which Gabe was really looking forward to for him. Unfortunately, they said they were too busy to sing to him, and just dropped off ice cream, which, as I mentioned, he was uninterested in. He wanted the spectacle of everybody singing to him.

We tried to get Nick to take a nap after breakfast, since Gabe's party was from 11:30 to 1:30, but he wasn't interested. He finally fell asleep about 10:50, and woke up as soon as we got to the bowling alley. I highly recommend a party at a bowling alley. It's very easy, lanes and shoes are included in the cost. Most of them, including the one we went to, have snack bars, so pizza and drinks were included in the price. Plus, they set up the party room with plates and cups and tablecloths all bowling-themed. It was so easy.

The party was a ton of fun. We got an extra lane so that the adults could bowl too, when they weren't helping their kids bowl. We only played one game, with so many people present, but everybody was really enjoying themselves. Oscar and I bought bowling shoes the day before, so we both tried those out. They really are much nicer to wear than the bowling alley shoes.

My MIL made the cakes for the party. She made two - one for the guests and a special one for Gabe. The cake for the guests was a bowling ball sitting on a bowling pin. She made the pin out of yellow cake with white frosting and the ball out of chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Gabe's cake was just a bowling ball made of yellow cake with a chocolate frosting as a filling and then dyed white frosting. He requested that the ball be blue with a rainbow on it. However he ate mostly frosting and a little of the cake, but no chocolate frosting. He really doesn't like chocolate.

After the party we went home and Gabe opened his gifts. Every gift was more exciting than the last, although the toy he seemed most interested in playing with was a hot wheels set that had detailed instructions on how to put it together and lots of stickers to apply, plus pieces that would appeal to Nick's mouth.

Finally, we took Gabe out to dinner at Outback, where he feasted on bread and strawberries brought from home. He also got ice cream again, but this time he was sung to by the wait staff, which made him very happy. He really loves feeling special, which can be difficult sometimes with a baby brother.

I'm glad he had a great day. He's a wonderful boy and I can finally say he's just 4, instead of almost 4 as I have been doing.

Happy Birthday Gabe!

Happy, Happy, Birthday Baby

2009-07-31T19:38:00.011-04:00

Happy, happy, birthday baby/No, I can't call you my baby/Seems like years ago we met/On a day I can't forget.

My Gabriel will be 4 on Sunday. I can't believe it's here already. I know we've been planning this party for months. The theme is bowling, so not only is it at the bowling alley, all the party favors and decorations related to bowling. Even the cakes, which he helped my MIL make today.

It's just hard to believe that he's growing up so quickly. I mean, next year, he'll be 5, and ::shudder:: starting school. Trust me when I say that I will be bawling like a baby on his first day of school, and he will, no doubt, skip happily along to explore his classroom.

His big present this year is a twin bed. He's been in a toddler bed since about 18-months, when he figured out how to fall out of his crib, but now he will be in a big bed. We bought it a couple months ago from IKEA, and it's great, because it sits nice and low to the floor and doesn't require a box spring if you use those wooden slats. We let him pick out two sets of sheets for it - Handy Manny and Cars. Oscar is going to put it together Sunday morning while I take him out to breakfast.

I'll post an update, hopefully Sunday evening, about his party, but here's a look at my baby over the years:

Wild and Crazy Hormones

2009-07-30T08:30:00.001-04:00

Nobody every fully explains just how many changes your body goes through during pregnancy and after. It isn’t just growing a baby for 9 months, and then maybe feeding them, possibly for another year. It’s not just about your stomach being softer or your boobs sagging. It really is more than that.

I’m sure it’s different for every woman, but for me, 16 months after having my second baby, my body seems to have reset itself. My body is acting like a teenager who just started getting her period. It’s irregular, and the cramping, OMG, the cramping. I never had cramping as a teenager, but apparently my body has decided to make up for that.

When my body suddenly started freaking out, and doing things it didn’t normal do, especially while on the pill, I went to the doctor. They did blood work and an ultrasound and declared me perfectly fine. I really was hoping there was a medical explanation beyond wild and crazy hormones.

It’s especially bad at night. After a day of working and taking care of my boys, I’m physically exhausted and more prone to high amounts of pain. Not much seems to help either – warm baths, heating pads, Tylenol, Advil, Midol…. It really sucks. I’m also a little emotionally unstable, the result, of course, of those wild and crazy hormones. They are partying hard core.

Unfortunately, the only advice the doctor can give is to go through a couple more cycles and schedule an appointment to discuss possibly change the pill that I’m on. Not really the diagnosis I was hoping for. However, I’m sure that the teenagers suffering through bad cramps hope for more too.

My Second Born

2009-07-29T12:44:00.005-04:00

So, my goal of working out every day this week had to be nixed due to a medical issue, which hopefully will be resolved soon. However, I can still fulfill my goal of daily posting this week. So for today's entry I will same questions as yesterday for Nick.

My Second Born:

WAS YOUR SECOND PREGNANCY PLANNED?

Yes, we were ready and trying to have a second child.

WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?

I was surprised that it happened so quickly. We had only been trying for a couple months.

HOW OLD WERE YOU?

26

HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?

I was still feeling nauseated after I should have recovered from a stomach flu, so I took a test while Oscar was at work to confirm my suspicions.

WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?

Oscar - I called him at work.

DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?

Definitely. I wanted to know as much about my baby as I could.

DUE DATE?

April 1st, 2008

DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?

Not really. There were a few smells I couldn't tolerate, but that was it.

WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?

Pumpkin flavored things, Costco's Chocolate Muffins, Fruity Pebbles

WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?

No one really, although it was difficult dealing with a toddler while pregnant.

WHAT WAS YOUR SECOND CHILD'S SEX?

Boy

DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?

A little bit, I had hoped for one of each, but I wouldn't change him for the world.

HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?

50 (ouch...)

DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?

Yes. My office planned one for me, which was so sweet.

WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?

It was supposed to be a surprise, but they sent a calendar invite to our boss, and since I was managing his calendar, I received the invite.

DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?

None until delivery. I chose to schedule an induction, and Nick started losing oxygen during contractions. Turns out the cord had a know on it that was compressed every time I contracted. I ended up having an emergency c-section.

WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?

Reston Hospital

HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?

About 6 from the time they started the pitocin to the time they did my c-section.

WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?

Oscar :)

WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH

Oscar was there with me. My mom was waiting outside the operating room.

WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?

Emergency c-section.

DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?

Yes - it was a requirement for the c-section.

HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?

7 lbs

WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ?

March 24th, 2008

WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?

Nicholas Alexander

HOW OLD IS YOUR SECOND BORN TODAY?

16 months

Tummy time = sleep

My First Born

2009-07-28T14:46:00.006-04:00

In addition to working out every day this week, I also would like to have a post every day this week. So far, I’m two for two

Of course I’ve decided to do a cheater’s entry and answer a bunch of questions about my first pregnancy. I know I’ve told the birth story of Gabe already, but here is some consolidated information. Tomorrow I shall submit one for Nick. I realize I still owe his complete birth story.

My First Born:

WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED?

Sort of.

WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME?

Yup, for a grand total of two weeks, a month when we found out.

WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?

I was surprised that it happened so quickly.

HOW OLD WERE YOU?

23

HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?

Went home at lunch and took a test.

WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?

Oscar, I had him come home at lunch too.

DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?

Definitely. I wanted to know as much about my baby as I could.

DUE DATE?

August 6th, 2005

DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?

Not really. There were a few smells I couldn't tolerate, but that was it.

WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?

Cadbury Cream Eggs (lots), Taco Time, and Pancakes

WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?

No one really, except my poor husband.

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX?
Boy

DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?

A little bit, but I wouldn't change him for the world.

HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?

30

DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?

Yes 2, Oscar planned one for me and then my office planned one (which was scheduled the day I gave birth, so I had after Gabe was born)

WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?

They were both a surprise.

DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?

None until delivery - Gabe that it would be fun to wrap the umbilical cord around his neck.

WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?

Bethesda Naval Hospital

HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?

About 14 hours from the time my first contractions started the day prior at work.

WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?

Oscar :) It was great - we lived about 45 minutes away from the hospital, as long as there was no traffic. Luckily this was super early in the morning.

WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH

Lots of people - Gabe went into distress right at shift change...

WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?

Do forceps count as natural?

DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?

Duh!

HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?

6 lbs, 13.9 oz

WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ?

August 2nd, 2005

WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?

Gabriel Michael

HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY?

4 (on Sunday)

Sleeping Angel

Bowling and Other Exercise

2009-07-27T08:59:00.006-04:00

I really miss my house. So many of the weekends this summer have been spent at locations other than home. This weekend we went out to dinner on Friday, to the country house Saturday through Sunday morning, and then bowling Sunday afternoon. The important part is that the boys had a good time, which is really why we do all this stuff.

Gabe went up with my MIL to the country house Friday afternoon. I had to at a different location, so I wasn't close to home, otherwise we probably would have gone up Friday afternoon. Oscar entertained Nick until I got home and then we went out to dinner at the Blue Ridge Grill, which was were we ate the previous Friday when we went on our date. The food is excellent. Nick had a great time. We ordered him a grilled cheese sandwich, which came with french fries, and all he was asking anybody who happened along to dip his fries in ketchup so he could suck it off.

:::

On Saturday morning, Oscar made breakfast - blueberry pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs. Very good. Although Nick was more interested in the blueberries. After that we got in the car and drove up to the country house, stopping to grab caffeine - Diet Dr. Pepper for him and a Venti White Mocha for me. Oscar's primary reason for going up there was to continue work on his mother's shed.

I spent most of the day inside entertaining Nick. Between the rain and all the bugs, plus the power tools, it wasn't exactly safe for him to be outside. We did go out a little bit for lunch, and to blow bubbles, which he enjoyed. Gabe ran back and forth between the shed and the house depending on his mood. My MIL had set up an old electric typewriter for him to play with, which amused them both. Gabe had fun helping Nick "type". Nick also spent a lot of time coloring and having me read stories.

Unfortunately, even with his dad's help, Oscar only got the foundation finished for the shed. We'll be going up again in two weeks to [hopefully] finish it. We'd go up next weekend, but it's Gabe's birthday. We went out for dinner at the Golden Corral (or as Gabe likes to call it the Golden Gorilla). Since there is such a large variety of food, it is easy to find plenty of things for Gabe, he of the extremely picky eaters, to eat. Nick, of course, is easy. It's hard not to eat too much, even if you try to eat healthy, at a buffet.

:::

As soon as we were all up Sunday morning we packed and got ready to head home. We stopped in Front Royal to grocery shop, since we wouldn't have time later due to bowling. Oscar and I always get two carts, so that we can strap both boys in. Gabe, even at [almost] 4, is difficult to manage if he is not secured in a cart.

The boys were happy to get home and run around. Our house is much safer than the country house, not as many dangerous or breakable items sitting around. We put Nick down for a nap shortly after we got home, since he refused to nap on the way, and needed it before we went bowling.

We met up with our friend K. and her two boys, [almost] 5 and 9. They all had a great time. Oscar and I tried out our new bowling balls and I sucked. I didn't break 100 either game, and in fact did worse the second game than I did the first. It was very frustrating, especially since I was trying to bowl and pay attention to both boys and succeeding at nothing.

:::

Bowling made me very self-conscious, and not just because I was doing so poorly. I've put a little weight back on, so my stomach is definitely more noticeable, plus I was wearing baggy jeans and an ill-fitting t-shirt. K., on the other hand, looked great in a short skirt and fitted t-shirt. People were definitely noticing. I've been meaning to get back to working out, and that was definitely motivation.

This morning, as a result, I got up early and restarted Slim in 6 (again), so my work out was about 25 minutes. I plan to work out again this evening, this time doing 30 Day Shred. I also have to be much more careful with what I eat. As I've shown, I quickly put weight back on when I eat poorly and don't exercise.

I know Oscar thinks I look fine, and I love that he does. The problem is, I don't think that I look fine. I also know I've put on a lot more pounds than I should have, because my skirts and pants are feeling tight. It's very frustrating. I had been doing well, and now, not so much. Hopefully I can stick to my exercise program this time.

Bedtime Routine and Other Things

2009-07-23T07:37:00.003-04:00

Most nights we follow the same bedtime routine with the boys, which usually works well for getting them to sleep without any problems. Then there are nights, like last night, when we mess with their routine, and they are a little more difficult to go to sleep than usual.

Usually I get home between 3:30 and 4:00 with the boys. They play a little bit and we have dinner around 5:00. After dinner they play until bath time, which is usually at 6:00. Bath time consists of using the potty for Gabe, as well as flossing and brushing, in addition to a bath or shower. After they are both in their pajamas, I read stories, two for Gabe unless it’s a really long story, and one for Nick. Then at 6:45 Oscar, the taxi, takes Gabe into bed and I take Nick. Nick gets a bottle of milk, and then calls Oscar in to brush his teeth. After that he gets a drink of water and goes to bed. They’re both usually out within 10-15 minutes.

Last night we decided to skip their bath and go for a car ride instead. They both seem to be coming down with colds, and Nick was a little cranky. Unfortunately, they seemed to energize each other and neither of them fell asleep in the car. Nick really wanted to play and Gabe wanted to ask questions about everything. Nick didn’t seem to want to relax until we were back home and I was rocking him in his room. He finished his milk bottle and had some water and then was asleep. Gabe was out shortly after getting into bed.

I guess that just goes to show that small children really are creatures of habit. We rarely mess with their routines, but when we do, it usually ends up taking them much longer to go to sleep than it normally would. We try to limit when we make changes, although we are going to the country house this weekend, so they will probably be a little challenged in going to sleep. Especially Gabe. He loves being up their so much that he has trouble winding down.

:::

Speaking of stories. We have some new favorites. Right now Gabe is very into both Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein, even if he doesn’t understand all the humor in the stories. I’ve mentioned before, I think, that he loves The Giving Tree, but we read Giraffe and a Half on Tuesday, and he like that very much. As for Dr. Seuss, he is very into both Green Eggs and Ham and The Lorax. Nick still loves his touch feely stories, with Little Feet Like... being his favorite of those. But, he’s also become attached to the class Goodnight Moon, which he likes to be read over and over and over again.

I’m glad they both really like books. I have such a love for them, that I would have been deeply disappointed if they were not interested in them. Unfortunately many of my favorite childhood series are probably ones they will never be interested in, to include Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie, and the Betsy books. Oh well, I still enjoy them myself. Not to mention Little Women, The Little Princes, and The Secret Garden. Some they will like, including the Wizard of Oz series, and of course, the more recent Harry Potter series.

:::

Nick is really getting to be a toddler. I mean, he’s been walking and talking for a while, but he’s starting to get such a personality about it. His very words are mine and that. He will do something naughty just for the attention, and likes it even better sometimes, if you are telling him no while he’s doing it. Not to mention the tantrums if he doesn’t get his way. He also is even more curious about everything, but less likely to put it in his mouth.

I can’t believe how quickly they are both growing up. Gabe will be four in a week and a half. Four! I still can clearly recall the day he was born and he will be four. He’s looking forward to his party, which for once, will be held on his actual birthday. He and my MIL have already done a trial cake, and we have all the party supplies, as well as most of the replies for his guests. We’re going bowling Sunday afternoon, so he can practice before his party.

I love watching my boys grow up, I just can’t believe how quickly it’s happening. They were both babies, just yesterday, I swear! And yet, they’re not anymore. They are people, with their own minds, and likes, and desires. I love watching them grow and develop a stronger sense of self, even while I am nostalgic for the time when all they needed was a full belly and a clean diaper.

Small Town Life

2009-07-21T13:14:00.006-04:00

Oscar and I currently live in a rented townhouse in a large planned community, which has 2 grocery stores, a McDonald's, a Ruby Tuesdays, a Starbucks, 4 pools, 3 elementary schools, and a planned middle school. We have short commutes to work. But we're not really happy here. Life moves too quickly. People are very materialistic. It's not really how we want to raise our children.

We've talked a lot about moving farther out, to a much smaller town. We still want to find a community to live in, but one that just has houses and 1 community center. Houses that are farther apart, with a little land. A much slower pace of life where you get your ice cream from a little stand rather than a franchise.

Oscar works with a number of people who live up there, as well as an old friend from high school, and they all love it. The commute, which would be about an hour, doesn't bother them. Many of whom have been doing it for 10+ years. The schools are pretty close to the level of where we live now, the home prices are much less, and the quality of life is higher. It sounds wonderful.

It's just a hard to make that decision. We're still a couple years off from buying a house, so we have time to decide. However, this decision isn't something we can undo once we make it. If we buy a house out there, we're committed. What if the commute wears on us? What if we don't like small town life after all? I don't think that will be the case, but there are a lot of what ifs.

We'd be trading convenience for a simpler lifestyle. I think that will make us happier. I think that will make our boys happier. I see all these teenagers that are as materialistic as their parents, and I don't want that for my children. I want them to enjoy simple pleasures, like a small-town barbecue, and a walk in the woods. I don't want them to be concerned with having the latest gadget or the most popular label on their clothes.

It really does sound like the best decision for us, but until we actually make it and move up there, we have no way of knowing for sure. I've suggested finding a place to rent up there, just to see if we like it, but Oscar doesn't want to go to the effort of moving unless we're doing it for good. That's a huge leap of faith. We really need to take the time to get to know the area, the people, the schools, and the neighborhoods.

I think we'd all be happier with a small town life.

Kid Movies

2009-07-20T19:11:00.002-04:00

I'll admit. I like kid movies. Especially the animated ones. Plus most of them are in 3D now, which is really cool. I also love Harry Potter. So after those confessions it shouldn't surprise you that I saw both Harry Potter and Ice Age (in 3D!) this weekend.

Friday I took an early day from work and Oscar and I went out to lunch and then saw Harry Potter, which I really enjoyed. Yes, it doesn't follow the book exactly, but then movies based on books rarely do. It was still a very good movie. However, I have started rereading the book just to remind myself what was different and what was left out.

On Sunday we met up with a friend of Gabe's and her dad to see Ice Age. Nick should have fallen asleep on the way to the theater or even strolling to the theater from the garage, but he didn't. He also found the movie a little scary, so Oscar and I took turns pushing him around the theater. The parts of the movie I did see were cute. I would like to know where I can get a baby woolly mammoth for a pet, because she was really cute.

Gabe is getting so much better about sitting through movies, he still gets a little restless, but usually he's enjoying the movie too much to get restless. Also, it helps having a friend there, since he tends to imitate their behavior. After the movie his friend wanted us to come over - her mom just had a baby a month ago - but it was too late in the day, plus her mom was sleeping, so we didn't want to intrude.

:::

I'm very frustrated with my exercise routine. I was doing good and then got side-lined with being sick, and really not the kind that you can work through with exercise. And of course, I tend to be one of those all or nothing kind of people. If I fall off the exercise wagon, I also tend to fall off the diet wagon.

Plus there are some nights where I'm so exhausted I don't have the energy to exercise and do my homework. Since my homework is not optional if I want to pass my classes, the exercise often gets skipped so that I can put together a semi-coherent sentence. Some times I wish I could just quit school, but I've made it this far, and then once I'm done I'll be so proud of what I've accomplished. And I know it will get harder as the boys get older. It's just really hard now.

I'm not getting much sleep, and in addition to working full time, I'm raising two small children and going to school. It's a lot. Some days it feels like too much. And on top of it I try to add exercise and eating healthy. I have tons of exercise videos, and a very nice treadmill. There's no reason I can't work out. I just often lack the motivation to do it. Sometimes I just want to relax. Curl up with a good book or a tabloid (personal fave: US Weekly) and relax.

Unfortunately those moments are few and far between. Plus, I still need to work in time to exercise.

Minor Setbacks

2009-07-17T08:22:00.002-04:00

I had been doing good with my working out and eating healthy until Wednesday. Then I got bad cramps, and was more interested in curling up on the couch with a pint of Ben and Jerry's (mmmm....Phish Food) instead of doing my Slim in 6 work out.

Last night I still wasn't feeling good, plus we needed to run some errands when I got home from work, so we ate dinner at Chipotle. Then Gabe threw a major tantrum in the store, and by the time I got home I was not in any mood to work. Plus I needed to work on home work.

I could say that I'm going to definately work out today. I'd like to think so, but who knows. I still don't feel 100%, plus Oscar and I are going on a date today (to see the new Harry Potter!), so probably not.

It would be better if I could get up in the morning and get my work out done before the day filled me with excuses, but it is so hard to get up an earlier than 5:30. Especially after getting up at least twice, usually more, with Nick. I really wanted to be consistent this time, yet there is always a reason for an excuse.

Go Ask Grandma

2009-07-14T13:06:00.006-04:00

Reasons I am glad my boys are watched by their Grandma:

They are cared for by someone who loves them as much as Oscar and I do.
They get plenty of chances to run outside and play.
She takes them to the library.
And to the fire station.
And to feed the ducks.
They get one-on-one attention.
She does lots of craft projects with them.
She makes them home cooked meals.
They also get to spend time with their Grandpa and Aunt Re.
They get to cook (today Gabe helped make pancakes, raspberry jelly, and a vanilla milkshake, which he referred to as a muscle milkshake).
She is able to take Gabe to his weekly gym class and to summer camp.
She can watch the boys earlier or later, if we need it.
She has a sandbox and a water table for them to play with.
She has lots of toys for them to play with.
She reads to them regularly.
She doesn't let them watch much TV (Gabe watches maybe an hour at the most, and only if the weather is bad).
They regularly play with her neighbor's grandchildren who are around the same age.

There are probably a lot of other reasons that I'm just not thinking about now. I complain a lot about my MIL watching the boys to Oscar. And yes, there are a lot of things that bother me. But I don't want to forget that they are lucky to be watched by their Grandma. It's the next best thing to Oscar or I being able to watch them.

Of course, I wish circumstances were different, and I could be the one to stay home with them. And yet, I'm not sure that would be what was best for them. I need to work, I think. I need to have that adult interaction. That separate part of my existence. I don't know that I would make a good stay at home mom. I love my children very much, and I know I would do my best, but would my best be as good as Grandma? I don't know.

Look Who's Talking

2009-07-11T12:57:00.006-04:00

On Thursday Nick had his 15-month check up (not on Tuesday like we originally thought). It was a good appointment, and the main focus was on the fact that he's not sleeping. We got a recommendation for a new methodology to try out - The No Cry Sleep Solution. Oscar ordered it from Amazon yesterday, so it should be here next week. I hope it works, since I really miss sleep. Last night Nick was up EVERY hour starting at 9:30. Without caffeine I'd be a goner.

He also got measured and weighed. He is 30 inches long, which puts him in the 95th percentile for height and 23 lbs 8oz, which puts him in the 40th percentile for weight. We also got approval to switch his car seat around, so he will finally face forward. It was nice to not have the eating discussions like we have always had at Gabe's appointments. Nick eats a wide variety of food and in a good amount. Gabe still is a very picky eater.

Nick also showed off his tricks. He showed her his forward roll and his wide vocabulary, which impressed our pediatrician. She said his language skills surpassed that of an 18-month-old and were closer to that of a 2-year-old. It felt good to hear that. We constantly talk to him, and teach him words, and use the correct terms and he's listening. Absorbing it all like a sponge. He can even say a couple of two word phrases, such as "me snack", "thank you", "buh bye", "nigh night", "ba please". Of course it doesn't come out quite that clearly, but we understand him.

:::

I've been alone this weekend with Nick. Gabe went to the country house with my MIL yesterday afternoon, and Oscar drove up last night after I got home from work. My MIL was having a shed delivered up there, and Oscar was going to help here put it together. Oscar and Gabe are supposed to be home sometime before dinner.

It's been very quiet. Nick and I get along well. He's easy to entertain. Easy to feed. And generally easy to put down for a nap. I've had plenty of play time with him as well as time to do chores around the house and use the computer. The TV hasn't been on at all. We've read Good Night Moon 10 billion times. It's been very peaceful, but I miss Oscar and Gabe. Nick does too. He keeps looking and calling for both of them. Luckily they're on their way home now.

As a treat I opened up one of the last two toys from Nick's birthday. It's a Yo Gabba Gabba Dancing Brobee. I think it's a little odd, but Nick likes it. When he wants it to dance he'll run up to me and point to Brobee and go "dass, dass", and then giggle delighedly when it does.

He's also been fascinated with my computer. My computer is sitting on a tray table in the living room, so that I can do homework without being distracted by Oscar watching TV. The couch out there is low, so it's easy for Nick to climb up on. I've come out of the kitchen numerous times today to discover him doing this:

Luckily he's really cute. Love the scrunch face.

:::

This past week I've been really consistent with my diet and exercise, which I'm proud of. I know a week isn't much, but it's better than I have been doing. Last night I moved on from Slim in 6 Phase 1: Start it Up to Slim in 6 Phase 2: Ramp it Up, which is twice the length and adds resistance band work.

I still have a quite a few pounds to lose before I get to where I want to be, but I'm confident that as long as I'm consistent with my diet and exercise most of the time that I will be successful. It's not always easy. There are nights when I'm so tired that the last thing I want to do is work out. Or Oscar might suggest going out to eat, which of course sounds way better than the healthy meal I planned out.

I'm not always going to be successful. Some nights I may work out any way. Some nights I won't. Some nights I'll choose eating out over my diet. Nobody is perfect. The key is choosing my diet and exercise most of the time.

Reviews and Recommendations

2009-07-09T07:40:00.002-04:00

About a month ago I mentioned that I had bought Palmer's Cocoa Butter lotion for my c-section scar and stretch marks and how it smells wonderful. I've been using it consistently since I bought it and it is already making a difference. My scar is much less noticeable than it used to be. I have the pump bottle and use it all over, not just on my scar. My elbows and knees are softer and the dry patches I usually get on my shoulder blades are gone. Also, I love the smell.

:::

I just finished reading The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde and really enjoyed it. The concept is quirky. It's set in England in an alternate reality where the Crimea war is still raging on, people clone Dodos for pets, and literature is taken very seriously. Thursday next is a detectives in the SpecOps, SO-27, which is the Literatec division. The crime she is pursuing in this story is the theft of the original Charlotte Bronte manuscript of Jane Eyre, and the subsequent kidnapping of Jane Eyre from the story by the evil Acheron Hades.

It's a very entertaining read, although the plot sometimes spends too long on aspects of the story that don't need it and not long enough on parts that are really interesting. Luckily Jasper Fforde has written many sequels with the second book in his series being Lost in a Good Book. I have not read it yet, but it is on my reading list.

:::

I restarted my exercise program this week after avoiding it for about a month. Lately I've been all about Jillian Michaels. I did the 30-Day Shred and I've done her No More Trouble Zones. Plus, I have her iFit cards for my treadmill. However, I decided to start with a program I did when I lost the weight with Gabe, before going back to Jillian.

I am doing Slim in 6, which is a Beachbody workout series. There are three levels, plus an additional ab routine and a stretching routine. The goal is to do the workout six days a week for six weeks. The first level is Start it Up, which I'm doing this week, and let me tell you, my thighs are sore. The amount of squats that you do... ouch! It is a good workout, and doesn't require any equipment except a mat, which you could probably do without if you have a soft carpet. It's also only 25 minutes from start to finish, which makes it a doable introduction to the program.

My scale this morning claimed that I've lost a three pounds since Monday, which I'm not sure is true, but it gives me a nice warm fuzzy to see the numbers on my scale going down again. Especially since my lack of exercise and poor eating over the past up had caused the scale to go up. I need to post of picture to the Flickr Accountability Pool.

I really want to lose the weight for good. I know my current weight isn't bad, but it's not at a number that I'm satisfied with. My middle is still too squishy, and my muscles have no tone. Especially my thighs and upper arms. I also want my pants to stop feeling a little tight. I'm really hoping I can stick with an exercise routine this time.

:::

P.S. Nick is still getting in the same three teeth, and is still waking up often at night. I'm exhausted and desperately need more sleep. His 15-month check up is today and I'm hoping his pediatrician has some suggestions. Because Tylenol? Not working. Baby Orajel? Not working. Letting him cry it out? NOT FREAKING WORKING!

Happy 4th

2009-07-06T20:45:00.003-04:00

We spent this past weekend at my in-laws country house, which is always a mixture of stress and relaxation. I'm currently in class, so I had to do all my homework ahead of time so I wouldn't have to worry about it this weekend when I didn't have access to the Internet.

My MIL took Gabe up Thursday night. Oscar, Nick, and I stayed home so that I could finish my homework and then pack in the morning. I left work a little early to have more time with them, but when I got home they were both asleep on the bed, which was very cute and I'm sorry I didn't take a picture. Being tired myself, I laid down with them for a good hour and a half of nap.

After our nap we went out to Chili's for dinner. Their bottomless chips are fantastic, and we always get a big thing of ranch to dip them in. If you've never tried tortilla chips dipped in ranch, you should. It's so good. Nick was enjoying our undivided attention, and was in a great mood. Also, he had a long nap, so I'm sure that helped.

The next morning after Nick woke us up, we packed and headed to the country house, stopping for breakfast on the way. Nick napped on the way up and was ready to play when we got there. Gabe had already been up for hours, and he and my MIL had already gone to their garden to pick raspberries. After a quick lunch we headed to Front Royal to look at Lowe's for a storage shed for my MIL and to pick up some things Oscar and I forgot to pack at the Super Wal-Mart.

We had barbecued hot dogs for dinner, which were good. Later that evening we drove into Winchester to see their fireworks display. It was supposed to be occurring in a local park, but we parked in the movie theater parking lot to watch them. It wasn't as good as if we had been up close, but it was good enough. Nick slept through most of it, although he briefly woke up and had to be consoled and put back to sleep. Gabe loved it.

We spent most of Saturday relaxing at the house before driving out to dinner and more fireworks in the evening. Our goal was to eat at the Golden Corral, because Oscar had been craving a buffet. However, my GPS in my Quest is stupid, so we ended up at not one, but two different Pizza Huts, one of which was no longer in business. Neither of which ever looked like they had been Golden Corrals. We finally found the one in Winchester, which made Oscar happy. Both my boys loved all the choices and ate a lot.

The big fireworks display for the area was at Sherando Park. In addition to fireworks, they also had a Dave Matthews cover band, carnival booths, moon bounces, and food. We ran into Gabe's cousin R. while we were there, which please him to no end. She's 7 and he adores her. Nick was determined to not fall asleep so he also stayed up to watch the fireworks. They were really great. Both the boys loved them. I'm glad they weren't scared. Nick did get upset about not being able to run around, but he was in his PJs.

We didn't leave the parking lot until almost 11 P.M. due to the huge back up in traffic. It didn't take long for the boys to fall asleep, but we the rest of us were exhausted. Of course, the boys didn't sleep in despite being up late. Oscar and I packed and left with Nick shortly after we got up on Sunday. We needed to go grocery shopping, and get ready for the work week.

It was a really nice weekend, but I'm exhausted after spending three weekends in a row out of town. I'm looking forward to a nice weekend at home, even if it won't be relaxing.

While You Were Sleeping

2009-07-01T07:09:00.002-04:00

So Nick hasn't been sleeping well lately. He's been getting about three teeth in for the past three weeks, and the one in the front has only recently broken through the skin. He's constantly walking around with something stuffed in his mouth - usually his hand. He's also mastered the sport of extreme screaming.

Usually it starts between 12:30 a.m and 1:00 a.m. Sometimes he will go right back to sleep after he's comforted, other times he'll be up for an hour with the constant screaming. Sometimes he wakes up every hour for a couple of minutes. Sometimes he also wakes up at 10:00 p.m., about a half hour after I've turned out the lights and finally fallen asleep. This morning he was up for about an hour starting at 1:00 a.m, and then got up again at 4:17 a.m., and didn't go back to sleep.

It doesn't help for Oscar to go in there. Even if Nick switches from screaming mamamamamamamamamama to dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada. He goes in there and Nick will calm down for maybe 1.2 seconds before he starts screaming some more. If I don't respond instantly he might pause for 0.5 seconds before he starts screaming even louder and holding the wailing.

It's like he's thinking "okay, I'm screaming, Mama will be here any minute. Okay, she's not coming. ::pause:: Maybe if I scream LOUDER. ::pause:: Maybe if I hold it LONGER. Okay, any second now, she'll be here. MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA!!!!!" Finally I give in and go get him from Oscar. Usually it's just not worth his trouble to get out of bed. He's probably just going to get yelled at.

I am beyond exhausted. I think I was exhausted after a week of this. At this point I'm barely more than a zombie, existing not on human flesh, but on caffeine. I really hope those teeth make their appearance soon. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

Beach Baby

2009-06-29T14:17:00.008-04:00

We spent this past weekend at the beach and it was so much fun. We're planning on making it an annual trip, only for an entire week, as opposed to just a long weekend. Originally we were supposed to go with some friends, but they had to cancel at the last minute. So it was just us and the in-laws, which was just perfect.

The boys both loved it. Nick was a little unsure of both the water and the sand at first. It took him a couple of days to warm up to both and get used to the feeling of the sand on his skin. Gabe, however, was ready to go and eager to experience both. Not to mention all the sights on the boardwalk.

We left Thursday morning, after I had spent a few hours at work. All six of us packed into my minivan. It took about four and a half hours to get to OC, which included a scenic tour of downtown D.C., and rural MD, thanks to the strange directions on my navigation system. At one point we stopped at a pretty nice playground in the middle of a very small suburban neighborhood, which allowed the boys a chance to get out and stretch their legs.

As soon as we arrived in OC and checked into our hotel, we unpacked the van, changed and headed out to the beach for a couple hours. We had two rooms in the Comfort Inn Boardwalk. The boardwalk location was really important to me, and it proved to be very beneficial to be so close to the beach. We could quickly get back an forth.

The weather was wonderful. Nick wanted to be held a lot, since it was a lot to take in, but Gabe was ready to just dive in, although he was unsure of being in the ocean without someone holding his hand or carrying him. It just was such a freeing and relaxing feeling to be there, at the beach. I mean the last time I was on a beach was my honeymoon in Hawaii.

We had dinner at one of the Dough Roller locations, before heading back to the hotel and getting the boys ready for bed. Gabe decided that he wanted to sleep with my MIL, which really wasn't surprising. Nick was more excited about getting a bath than he had been about the ocean. Poor thing, he had a hard time dealing with the change in his schedule, and he's getting three teeth in at once (that will make eight).

The next day we went to the beach early after grabbing breakfast. Our hotel had a complimentary continental breakfast, which was a nice feature. We stayed at the beach until about 9:30, so we could avoid the hottest hours, and get Nick a nap. Oscar spent most of his time in the water, while I alternated back and forth. Nick was a little curious about the water, but was mostly content to dig in the sand. Gabe wanted to do everything, and enjoyed being in the water and have the waves crash at his feet.

After Nick's nap we went strolling on the boardwalk to get lunch and to go to the Jolly Roger so that Gabe could ride the Ferris wheel. We also stopped at an arcade, where Gabe discovered the joys of getting tickets to turn in for prizes. I played a few enjoyable games of skeet ball, while we waited for the rides to open. It ended up being just Gabe and I on the Ferris wheel, which was nice. We get so little time together, just the two of us. There was also dessert. Gabe had a snow cone, Oscar and his parents had ice cream, and I had a funnel cake (mmmm... deep fried dough).

We went out to the beach for a couple hours Friday evening, before heading over the bridge to get dinner at Outback (Oscar's favorite restaurant) and pick up a couple things from the grocery store. The feel of the sand and the sea just put every one in such a good mood. Myself included. Even if I did have to worry about homework, since my class started last Tuesday.

On Saturday we spent the morning at the beach and then decided to take Nick strolling for his nap. One of the local photography studios caught us on the beach as we were getting ready to leave and took a few pictures of the boys, who were dressed in matching swim outfits and hats. It was very cute, so we went strolling to see where their studio was, and stopped at one of the random food stalls to get pizza.

We went out to the beach again that evening. I think Oscar spent two full hours almost consistently in the waves. And Nick was all about the beach now, and would just get up from his spot in the sand and take off towards the water whenever he felt like it. Luckily there were four adults paying attention, so usually someone caught him before he fell or got to the water. After we were done at the beach, we immediately went to pick up our pictures. I forgot to reapply sunscreen, so my shoulders and upper back are a little pink from the walk.

Oscar and I decided to steal away for a date after the boys went to bed, although Nick wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be put down. My MIL was able to calm him and decided to just keep him in her room and put him down on the comforter on the floor when he fell asleep. Oscar and I decided to go out to eat at a seafood buffet. It wasn't bad, but certainly not the best buffet we've ever had. However, it was nice to get away and just spend time alone together.

On Sunday, we did most of the packing before we had breakfast and went to the beach, so there wouldn't be much to worry about before checkout at 11 a.m. We didn't stay long, but it was enough for both the boys to splash in the water for a bit and dig in the sand. After we checked out we went strolling on the boardwalk to pick out a few gifts. Gabe wanted to get hermit crabs, and we wanted to get something for his friends that weren't able to come with us.

The drive back was rather uneventful, other than Gabe being cranky and refusing to rest. I had my first Starbucks of the weekend (of course I had coffee other days, it just was from Dunkin' Donuts). We also stopped at farmer's market to pick up some sweet white corn, which I am eagerly looking forward to devouring tonight.

I was so exhausted when we got home, and yet there was so much to do. We needed to unpack and start laundry and get ready for work today. My SIL offered to watch Gabe, so that we would have an easier time doing everything we needed to do, which was nice of her. Oscar picked up Ruby Tuesday's for dinner after he did the grocery shopping, while I watched Nick and took care of the laundry and uploading our pictures.

We also caught up on the two shows that we missed - Royal Pains and Burn Notice. Two very good original shows on USA. By the time we finally were ready to go to sleep, it was almost 10, however, that is when Nick woke up. And was up for most of the night. First, I believe, it was night terrors. Then it was his teeth really bothering him. Finally it was his stomach hurting him. By the time he finally slept for any length of time, it was 3:30 a.m. I am so exhausted today.

Still it was a great time. The warm sea breeze felt amazing. The water was gorgeous. And the joy of experiencing the beach through my children was worth every discomfort. Every experience becomes new again, because I get to see it through my children's eyes, and that is a wonderful thing.

Weekend Plans

2009-06-24T07:31:00.007-04:00

So this past weekend we went up to the country house. And it's never something I really look forward too. The house is a pre-fab that is over 20-years-old. The bed that I use to sleep in is harder than a rock. Seriously, a bed-size rock, might very well be more comfortable. And yet, the boys love it. All three of them. They love the change of scenery. And the woods. And the undivided attention of their parents and Grandma.

I mean there are nice things. Like a great ice cream place. And slipping away to catch a movie in a small-town theater. It's a slower pace, and it's certainly one I wouldn't mind living, provided it contained a more comfortable bed. That's actually the plan. Oscar wants to either build a new house or buy a new pre-fab to place on the property so that it will be a more comfortable place to visit.

It was a shame that it rained so much, the boys didn't get much of a chance to play outside. Although there was enough of a break that Oscar and Gabe were able to build a new bridge to go across the creek, and also to take the bridge down to the creek and put it in place. Gabe adored that. He really loves going up to the country house.

Oscar and I managed to go see a movie at a tiny theater in Woodstock that used to only have two screens, but recently added a third. It was fun, especially since we so rarely get to go on dates. We stopped at the little ice cream shack in Strasburg before the movie. It has fantastic soft-serve. I had a sundae topped with blueberries and cheesecake - so good.

The movie we saw was The Hangover, which was very funny. Although, I did not like the scenes with the baby. I suppose they were amusing, in a cringe-worthy sort of way. Next month we're going to see Harry Potter, which I'm really looking forward too.

We actually went out to eat for Oscar's Father's Day on Saturday. We had a very nice lunch at Red Lobster in Winchester. Gabe didn't eat much, but Nick ate a little of pretty much everything. He was also fascinated with the cute blonde waitress, who did a great job. That's my boy, already fascinate by girls at the ripe old age of 1.

We went over to my in-law's house for dinner on Father's Day. My FIL wanted Chinese, so we ordered from our favorite Chinese restaurant and ate it at their house. Unfortunately I misplaced all the Father's Day cards, so my FIL and Oscar got their cards on Monday instead. Oh well, it's the thought that counts right?

We plan to go to the country house for the 4th of July, which should be fun. We will probably go to a small-town celebration, and those are always the best. I went to one in a small town in upstate New York one year, and it was great. The fireworks display wasn't the best I've seen, but it was fun, and the town was cute, and we could go out on the water to watch it. I've also seen fireworks on the beach in Ocean City, from a hotel room in downtown Seattle, and on an Army base in South Korea. Those are some of the more interesting places.

:::

This weekend we're going to the beach with some friends. While I do love going to the beach, I remember going fondly as a single adult with friends. I'm a little concerned about the logistics of going with small children, friends who also have small children, and my in-laws. Not sure how much fun this will be. Especially since I will probably spend a lot of time in the hotel room with Nick, who will still need naps.

Oscar says I worry too much, and that's probably true. I'm worried about the drive up there. I'm worried about having to go into work first and not being there to make sure everything is ready for the boys. I'm worried about being at the beach with another couple and their children. I'm worried about ensuring the boys stay covered in sunscreen. I'm worried about ensuring that I pack for every possible situation. I'm worried about making sure I get all my homework done. I'm just worried.

I keep hoping that perhaps that by worrying so much ahead of time, I will be prepared for this weekend, and actually have a great time. I hope that's true. I really would like this to be an enjoyable vacation.

Missing Seattle

2009-06-22T19:44:00.004-04:00

I miss Seattle. Or rather the greater Seattle area where I grew up. I miss the water and the trees. I miss the rain and the coffee. I miss the islands and the ferry. I miss downtown and the suburbs. I miss the fairs and my favorite restaurants. I miss my family and friends. I just miss it, y'know?

When I left after high school, and joined the Army, there were so many things I was running from. The least of which were the college loans I didn't want. I could have gone to college, I was accepted to the University of Washington. I could have gone and majored in history and then taught at a local high school. But I needed to leave.

I know I will never go back, except to visit. My husband is from Northern VA. His family is here. Our jobs are here. Our boys are making friends here. We both have jobs here. I have a life here. It just doesn't stop me from missing the area where I grew up. I doesn't stop me from missing the places I went as a child and wishing I could share those places with my own children.

I guess it's harder now that I have children, because I see Oscar's joy in sharing placing he went as a child with our children and I wish I could do the same. I would love to take them to the Seattle Center, and to Pike's Place Market, and the visitor center on Mt. Rainier. I want to take them to Port Angeles and explore Whitby Island. I want to show them where I went to school. Where I lived. I want them to get to know my family.

I always meant to go back. When I was done with the Army. I meant to go back and get my degree and teach or maybe just work for one of the big companies out there. And then I fell in love to someone who was from Northern VA. And then I got pregnant. So we stayed. And will never leave. Because now our babies have roots here and I want them to be happy.

Tough Decisions

2009-06-19T10:32:00.005-04:00

One of the best moments of my day happens on those days that Oscar picks up the boys. I walk in the door and up the stairs from the garage and they come running to great me, competing for hugs and kisses and attention. I love it. I love having my boys excited to see me. This is what greeted me when I came home on Wednesday.

This in great contrast to those days when I pick up the boys from my MIL’s. Instead, they don’t want to come home. They only want to be with Grandma, and in Nick’s case sometimes Grandpa, and really don’t want to pay me much attention. Although, in the past couple of weeks, Gabe has been much happier to see me.

It’s hard and frustrating, when I love them so much and they haven’t seen me all day. Shouldn’t they be happier to see me? More excited? But no, I do not compete with the grandparents that they see all freaking day long.

It’s never easy to make decisions as parents. There are days when I regret the fact that I work outside the house full-time. That I regret that much of the raising of my children in their early years has been delegated to my MIL. Then there are days after a rough morning or Sunday evening and I’m so happy to be at work. To have that break, where I’m an adult and can have adult conversations, so I’m better for those times when I am home with the boys.

There are always the questions of what’s the right decision for childcare, for preschool, for where to live, for diapers, for feeding. And for every decision that you make, there is going to be someone strongly opposed, who will tell you that you made the wrong decision. And for the most part, I don’t know that there are wrong decisions, just different decisions. As long as it is not placing your child in harm and it’s right for your family, who’s to say it’s the wrong decision?

Of course, that doesn’t help me not worry about making the wrong decisions when it comes to raising my children. I guess every parent worries about that.

:::

So today I’m wearing a dress. An actual dress. Not just a skirt like I wore to work on Monday (I know two work days in one week where I didn’t wear pants. Shocking!). It’s a long blue maxi dip-dyed sun dress that I bought from Old Navy, after succumbing to those compelling modelquin ads.

Of course, the top is a little skimpy, so I’m wearing a blue cardigan over it to make it more work appropriate. Of course I finished the look with a pony-tail and flip flops, so maybe it’s a little casual for work, but hey, it’s Friday. Any way, it’s a little figure hugging over the stomach and hips. Not tight, but any bulges are noticeable.

So, I’m also wearing one of those body shaper thingies that sucks in the stomach, hips, thighs and lifts up the butt. I know, a sundress with a body shaper, so casual. However, it does make feel less insecure about how I look, so isn’t that the important part?

:::

This afternoon we’re leaving to go up to my in-laws country house for the weekend. I spent last night packing and doing laundry. I stayed up later than I intended, but I was trying to get everything done, so that when we came back Sunday afternoon I wouldn’t have much to worry about. Then I forgot to pack my lunch and breakfast for work today ::sigh::

My MIL is going to drive up this afternoon with the boys, and Oscar and I are going to drive up after I get off work. Ordinarily I would have taken a few hours off this afternoon so we could get an early start, but there’s an important meeting at 1:30 this afternoon that I kind of can’t miss, so I can’t leave.

Oscar actually wanted me to take the whole day off so we could also go see the Hangover, which does look amusing and has been getting high ratings, but I just didn’t feel like I could do it, what with the time I’m taking off next week for our beach trip.

I’m not really looking forward to the weekend. I mean, I’ll be trapped in a tiny house with my MIL, and two small children without cable or internet. Plus, it’s not my house. It’s not my bed. Also, it’s not child-proofed, which makes it a great place for a toddler who likes to investigate everything inappropriate, often putting objects in his mouth (current favorites include tiny magnet letters, tiny foam letters, and tiny foam monsters, which, of course are all brightly colored like candy, or Fruit Loops).

I think we plan to go to the Golden Corral for Father’s Day (I know the buffet, how classy are we?). And I’m sure there will be trips to Wal-Mart. Maybe even a trip to the sit-down, eat-in Pizza Hut, that Gabe loves so much. I can already feel my need for coffee increasing. Preferably a Starbucks Venti White Mocha… mmmm…

Always Be My Baby

2009-06-18T20:41:00.003-04:00

So I've been hearing all these ads on the radio lately for Palmer's Cocoa Butter and how it's supposed to help with scarring and stretch marks, i.e. my midsection as a result of children. So I picked up a bottle last weekend and finally tried it tonight. I started with my stomach and it smelled so good, I rubbed it on every where else... mmm... I smell good enough to eat.

:::

Last night was Nick's first gym class of the summer session. I took him and had a great time. Our favorite teacher, Miss Catherine, is the instructor and he did great. Except for mat time. He really didn't want to stay on the big red mat for the warm up. He did enjoy the bells and the parachute.

The skills they practiced were doing forward rolls down a wedge starting from a standing position, which were told helps them get the curved body that protects their neck better in the rolls. They also practiced jumping down from some large stacked wedge mats (with parental assistance) so they get used to the way that feels on their legs. Finally they practiced walking sideways one the balance beam.

As always, Nick's favorite part were the balls and the bubbles at the end of the class. He gets so happy when the balls come out. They're these large colorful, soft, rubber bouncy balls, as well as large red and yellow squishy soccer balls. We were supposed to practice rolling the ball back and forth, but Nick was more interested in running around with the balls.

:::

A new lady recently started on my team at work. She's older and has been doing this type of work for a long time, although she's new to the particular work my team does. I am also fairly new to the team, having been a member for all of three weeks. She's noticed that I'm tentative to take on assignments or ask questions, and has decided she's going to help me out by asking the questions and giving me the answers and volunteering for tasks and having me help her.

I really appreciate it. I've really been looking for someone that is outgoing and will teach me, while at the same time noticing the fact that I'm really shy about asking questions or speaking up. I have such a hard time being assertive. I want someone to tell me what to do or push me out of my comfort zone, while at the same time being total open to my questions or concerns.

:::

I recently read an old entry of Sundry's, which I could totally relate to. I too made a homemade carrot cake for Gabe's 1st Birthday, which he totally did not appreciate. I also have struggled with filling out the baby books for the boys. I have a few things in there, such as hospital bracelets and sonograms, but nothing significant. No first anything.

It bothers me sometimes. I worry that I'll forget. I worry that they'll resent me for not taking the time to fill out those books. I worry that I'll resent me. I worry a lot.

That's one of the reasons I decided to start blogging. I know it's late and I've already missed a lot in both their lives. But better late than never, right? I want so badly to capture my memories. I want to preserve these precious moments with my babies, because I know they will fly too quickly. I know that too soon they won't need me any more. I know that will make me sad. I know that no matter how big they get, they will always be my babies.

Birth Story: Part 1

2009-06-16T15:38:00.015-04:00

Since I have nothing exciting to share today, I thought I would recount the birth story of Gabe. Hopefully to be followed at a not-so-distant time in the future by the birth story of Nick.

Oscar and I were married on October 30th, 2004. It was a beautiful ceremony at the main post church on Ft. Meade. I wore my mother’s wedding dress (altered to fit). I went with a fall color scheme of red, orange, and yellow. My friend Jen and Oscar’s sister were my bridesmaids. They wore simple floor-length red dresses. The best man was Oscar’s brother and his other attendant was my brother. I used fake flowers for the bouquets, and still have mine to this day.

We honeymooned for a week in Hawaii, it was beautiful and magical, and everything a honeymoon should be. I discovered I was pregnant three weeks later – which happened to be a few days after my 23rd birthday. Of course the timing couldn’t have been worse, even if we had agreed to a let’s see what happens approach to having a baby. So Gabe was definitely planned, I just wasn’t expecting him so soon.

You see, in June I had reenlisted for three years with a two-year guaranteed assignment in Colorado. Oscar and I had planned to do the time apart until he got out in January. We would have spent every holiday weekend available together and used our leave for additional time. We would have made it work. We had just sold our townhouse in Maryland and I had scheduled the date for the movers to come pick up our stuff. We were about to sign a contract for a townhouse in Colorado.

And I was pregnant. That changed everything. I had no desire to be alone in Colorado AND pregnant. There was no guarantee that Oscar would be able to make it in time for the birth, and then I would be dealing with a newborn mainly by myself. So we tried to get him an assignment out there, with little success. So instead I chose to leave the Army and stay in Maryland.

Oscar was so excited about the baby that he actually tried to plan me a surprise baby shower. His mom and sister drove up for it. His mom had made a diaper cake and planned games. Unfortunately all my friends sucked and none of them showed up (most of them missed my wedding too, hmmm…), although a couple friends of Oscar’s came. It was very sweet and I really appreciated the thought and effort.

I then had to find a regular job, hopefully one in Virginia, because that’s where Oscar is from. Also, his mother has always been a stay-at-home mom and wanted to be the only one to watch the new baby. Which is how I ended up in Northern Virginia. The military hospital I was using for my OB was in Bethesda, which was about a 45-minute drive from our apartment.

I did not end up starting my new job until three weeks before I was due, which of course I made sure was known before I was hired. That was interesting. Here I am, 37 weeks pregnant and starting a new job. I stayed with my in-laws while Oscar was up in Maryland cleaning up our apartment before our move to Virginia. We moved the week before Gabe was due and spent the weekend prior getting his room set up. I was so worried we wouldn’t have everything set up in time.

The theme for his room was the Original Pooh and the furniture was purchased from J.C. Penney. My MIL made a number of items for his room, including a cover for his Boppy, extra sheets, and a diaper stacker. I can still picture his room in my mind. The mirrored doors that ran the length of one wall. The big window with his rocking chair sitting in front of it. His dresser and changing table were right next to each other, and his crib was right by the door. His bassinet was kept under the window in our bedroom.

The ladies I worked with were very sweet and actually planned a baby shower for me on August 2nd, about a week before my August 6th due date.Unfortunately, my baby boy decided that he didn’t want to wait until the 6th and I started having contractions around 3:00 pm on the 1st. It was funny; all the ladies were so disappointed that there wouldn’t be cake. Also, Oscar was currently at our company headquarters signing the paperwork for his new job. It wasn’t ideal, since it was a shift work job, which included nights and weekends. However, the pay was good, and well, he needed a job, since he had just been med boarded from the military.

He had dropped me off at work that morning, so he raced over to my office to pick me up, and I insisted he go back and finish signing the paperwork, since that would be one less thing to worry about and the contractions had only just started. Afterwards we grabbed a bite to eat at Wendy’s.

I was up most of the night with the contractions, often pacing. I got to see what the mucus plug looks like (ewwww). I also called the hospital a couple times. Finally around 5 in the morning we drove to the hospital. There was an express exit near our apartment, which was open in the direction we needed to head. However, Oscar was so worried about getting to the hospital in time that he was speeding, and of course we got pulled over. Luckily the officer was nice and let us go with a warning, since I was in labor.

The contractions were super painful at this point and all I wanted was to be checked in and given drugs. I am not the natural type. Pain? No thank you. They examined me as soon as I got settled into a birthing room, and told me that I was already 9cm dilated, was I sure I wanted an epidural? I said, yes, of course, as long as there is time to give it to me. Thankfully there was, since Gabe was delivered about two hours later at 7:04 a.m. via forceps. Apparently he had gotten the cord caught around his neck halfway out, so they used forceps to pull him out.

His arrival coincided with shift change, so his distress prompted my room to be filled with two shifts worth of doctors and nurses. My hoohaw was on display for everyone to see. Although I didn’t really care because my baby was in distress, and dammit I want to see my baby. Oscar was not able to cut the cord because he was taken to be examined as soon as he was out to ensure he was all right. He weighed in at 6 lbs, 13.9 oz and was 19 inches long.

All I wanted was my baby, and of course he needed to be fully examined. I was so anxious, I hadn’t had much experience with babies and suddenly my baby is here, and was he all right? It was much longer before I finally got to hold him. We tried breastfeeding, but that was a frustrating process. He got supplemented with formula a lot during our three-day stay. He also was taken to the NICU a few times to be examined since he was diagnosed with a heart murmur, which he still has.

Those first few weeks and months flew by so quickly. It took so long to heal from the delivery. I did not receive an episiotomy, and due to the method of delivery, I ended up with a third degree tare. I remember shortly after we came home from the hospital, maybe a day or two later, Oscar forced me to take a walk. We only walked out of our apartment complex to the corner, and yet it was so painful.

The first few weeks were great, because he was on leave from the military, and hadn’t started his new job yet. So we were home together. It was after that, when I was still on maternity leave, and often alone with Gabe that things got harder. Or when Oscar was working nights and weekends and I was working during the week. I was so tired and Gabe would often cry for hours on end and nothing I would do would get him to stop. In the evenings I would often call my MIL to come over to help me. Because I was alone. And desperate for him to stop crying.

Breastfeeding didn’t work out very well for us. We didn’t bond well to begin with, and getting a latch was always difficult. So he was partially formula-fed pretty much from day one. Also, my job at the time, didn’t really have a place for me to pump while at work. I mean, there was a health office in the basement that had a couple rooms, but I worked on the fourth floor, on the opposite side of the building. So I only pumped once a day at lunch. Also, I had a Playtex pump, that didn’t seem to be powerful enough to get much milk.

I continued nursing Gabe in the mornings before I dropped him off at my MIL’s and in the evenings before I he went to bed. I also managed to pump about three ounces at lunch. However, by six months he was officially uninterested, preferring a bottle or pacifier to suck on over me. He adored his pacifier from the moment the nurses first gave him one at the hospital. In his newborn picture his lips are pursed and his eyes are staring off to the side because we removed his pacifier right before the photo was taken and he’s staring at it, waiting to get it back.

We moved from our apartment to a townhouse a few months after Gabe was born. The months flew by so quickly with Gabe. I remember that he was a pumpkin for his first Halloween, at the advanced age of three months. We went over to my MIL's, while she gave out candy. I don't remember exactly when he learned to sit up or pull himself to standing, but I do remember that his first word was "ba" (ball). I remember that he loved to zoom around with a little push cart that assisted him with walking. His first step occurred on the August 6th, which was the Sunday after his first birthday party and I have it on camera.

His first birthday party was at my MIL's on August 5th. The theme was Curious George, because he loves monkeys. I made the carrot cake and frost recipe from What to Expect the First Year. The guest list was small, with only three children in attendence - my MIL's neighbor's grandchild who is a month and a half younger, my coworkers daughter, and his 2nd cousin. I made the mistake of trying to open gifts at the party.

He started gym classes at 13 months, and made some good friends in those classes, we still hang out with them to this day. I loved those early gym classes, with Oscar and I both in the room with him. It's one of the things I regret we can't do for Nick. Gabe's first gym class was traumatic - he spent most of the time crying and clinging to Oscar or me. However, the second went much better and he quickly grew to love going. Shortly after that we moved from the townhouse we were renting to an apartment.

At 18 months, he figured out how to climb out of his crib, but not how to do it without falling. We choose to convert his crib to a toddler bed, which made bedtime so much more difficult, since he could now get out of bed to voice his complaints. Had I known about those cool mesh crib nets that you can put over top of cribs, I think I would have opted for that over the toddler bed, but hindsight is 20/20.

His 2nd birthday party was at a moon bounce place, which we had discovered when we attended the birthday party of one of his friends from gym class. The theme was again Curious George. His cake was from Costco, although my MIL also made him a cake. We invited most of the children from his gym class, as well as his cousin. It was a great party. We did not open the gifts at the party, having learned by attending other parties, that it wasn't what people did at parties.

We did a lot of fun things during his third year, despite me being all pregnant with Nick. We went to the National Zoo and the local petting zoo a couple of times. We also moved again, this time from an apartment to another townhouse. His 3rd birthday part was held at the Little Gym. During the previous year he had discovered Playhouse Disney, so the theme he choose was Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Again we chose to purchase his cake from Costco. His close friends attended, as well as the daughters of one of my coworkers.

I started blogging a few months after his 3rd birthday, so most of the stories that come afterwards are held in this blog. I'm trying so hard to capture my memories, so that I have them in years to come. Many are very foggy already, and he's not even four. I don't want to forget. That's why I started blogging. That's why I'm working so hard to get a handle on our pictures. Because I always want to be able to remember.

Weekend Update

2009-06-15T13:53:00.006-04:00

We had a busy weekend, which is to say, that nothing got done around the house, other than the cleaning done by my MIL.

The best part was probably going fishing. My FIL’s church sponsored a fishing trip to a local lake, and we were invited to attend. Unfortunately we were only able to stay for a couple hours, because Gabe had his last soccer practice, but it lasted all day and included a picnic, which we missed.

Gabe did so well; he caught 10 fish, with a little help from my MIL and Oscar. Nick “fished” a little bit. And also gave us death stares for confining him to his stroller for much of the time. It was for the best, since Nick plus water, was probably not a good combination.

We grabbed McDonald's for lunch and then went home so that Gabe could change for soccer. I stayed home with Nick, so that he could run around for a little bit, since he spent so much time confined. Oscar regretted bringing Gabe home for soccer practice, since only two other children showed up. He would have had a better time fishing.

Nick had a great time running around the house playing. Every so often he would come see me for a hug or a kiss, or maybe a piece of Lay's Kettle Cooked BBQ Chips (so good). He would ask for a piece by saying "tha" (that) or "bie" (bite). And of course I would give in.

He would also occasionally climb up on the couch on his own and then clap when he succeeded. Of course, he did have a little bit of help - we have a child-size chair, that usually sits next to the couch, so he would first climb on that, and then climb up on the couch. It's very cute, even if you do worry about the safety of his head.

He also managed to spray his changing table and the wall with pee as I was changing him. I had taken off his diaper, and for some inexplicable reason, instead of putting a clean diaper on him first, I decided to clean some of the snot out of his nose with a bulb syringe. Big mistake. Luckily, the only place I got sprayed was on my hand, but, the wall and changing table were a mess. Thank you, Nicholas.

:::

After fishing we went to the Super Target in Gainesville while my MIL cleaned our townhouse. Again, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, but she does fold laundry, and well, we would be paying a cleaning service any way, so why not pay her to do it instead… It’s just that it’s my MIL, cleaning my house…

Poor Nick was so tired; he fell asleep as soon as he finished a bottle. He briefly woke up when we got to Target, but curled into me when I got him out of the van, so I put him in one of the infant seats they have on carts, and he went right back to sleep and stayed asleep for our whole shopping trip.

When we got home, we ordered Papa John’s for dinner. Have you had their Hawaiian BBQ Chicken Pizza? So good. Especially with a little of the garlic sauce poured on top. Mmmm…

:::

Sunday was picture day. We have been going to the Picture People for family pictures since Gabe was born. We usually do a big shoot in the summer and then do a shoot of just the boys at Christmas. This year we settled on the middle of June as a halfway point between the boys’ birthdays.

The pictures turned out great, although Nick is not as much of a ham as Gabe was at that age. Gabe would see a camera and start showing off. Nick wanted to run to the nearest acceptable person and be picked up.

In addition to the poses we normally get, we also had two *extra* poses, one of each of the boys, this photo trip. My MIL wanted a picture of Gabe in a cowboy outfit. The same outfit that she had my BIL posed in at the same age, and Oscar, so it has become a family tradition. Nick will wear the same outfit when he’s about three or four. We also did Nick’s first birthday pose in a giant *block*, which was something we had also done with Gabe for his first birthday.

We finished the trip with a late lunch at Macaroni Grill, which, unfortunately, was a disappointing meal. Our server didn’t quite get that we wanted the boys’ noodles out as soon as they were ready, despite ordering them with our drinks as soon as we sat down. They were actually the very last thing brought to our table. Plus he only checked on us once, despite regularly checking on his other tables around us. To top it off, the food wasn’t very good.

However, Gabe did enjoy it, so I guess that’s the important thing, since we usually go there for him. It’s been his favorite restaurant since he was little. Although we did briefly stop going there after the plate shattering incident (Gabe was about 18 months, and was playing with his plate, Oscar went to take it away from him, and Gabe threw it behind him). We actually have been eating out a lot less, just because it is much more challenging to do so with two children. Plus there’s the cost, and the calories.

:::

Gabe’s has gotten very good about getting ready in the mornings. He stays in bed until his sun turns on (it’s set for 6:00 a.m.). He then needs little prodding to take off his pajamas and get dressed. This morning he did get up briefly before his sun turned on, but that’s because he needed to go to the bathroom. Afterwards he went back to bed.

It’s amazing how much he’s grown up in the last few months. He’s able to do more on his own. His vocabulary is improving and he’s much better at listening. Of course, there are still occasions where he’s very difficult, but he’s not even four. He’s still very little.

This morning he was especially eager to get ready, since his 2^nd cousin, Rachel, was going to be waiting for him at Grandma’s. She’s spending the night at my MIL’s tonight, so this will be his first *sleepover*. It’s all he was talking about all weekend. I hope he has a great time, although I have nothing to worry about. He regularly sleeps over with my MIL, and he adores Rachel.

:::

I'm working really hard to get a handle on my pictures. As I have mentioned before, I am not very good at memory keeping. We take a ton of pictures, and get them all printed, but that's usually as far as it goes. They sit in their Target envelopes, rarely opened and certainly not dated. So this weekend I signed up for Shutterfly (to make the developing at Target easier) and Flickr Pro (to make the organizing easier).

I also wrote dates on the backs of the pictures we had developed this weekend. Of course those pictures only accounted for the month of June, so far, but hey, it was progress. I also organized all the pictures I had on my computer, with the exception of those taken by my MIL. Many do not have a date or an accurate date, so I had to guess the proper year, but it's progress.

My feeling is if only I can get my pictures managed I will feel a little better about the whole not writing in their baby books and not scrap booking thing. Also, I will have this blog, where I will hopefully include important information about them. I only wish I had started it sooner, like when Gabe was a baby. Maybe my memories of that time wouldn't be so foggy.

I Was Warned

2009-06-12T20:32:00.007-04:00

Today was Gabe's big show for his sports class. He did such a great job. It was adorable. There were six kids present today, and no suprise, they were all little boys. They had practiced an intro where they each came running in, walked across a balance beam, and then threw a Frisbee into a *donut*. Gabe did a really good job of listening.

After the intro, they got a few minutes of free time while the instructors set up the stations. On the big red mat, they showed off their sports skills, and on the other side of the room they showed off their bar skills. Gabe was great.

The skills they had practiced this session t-ball, hockey, and golf. First they threw a ball overhand, then they caught it underhand, then they hit it. Next they hit a ball into a net with a hockey stick. Finally they hit a golf ball under half a donut into a hole. On the other side, he did a bar routine which involved switching grips on the bar and a couple of different hangs.

The whole class was wonderful. He was adorable. He was so excited to have Oscar and I there. It was very sweet. I really enjoyed watching his class, and I loved how excited he was. It made me so very happy. I adore him. My beautiful baby boy, he's almost 4.
:::

Gabe finds Nick's eating habits very amusing. The other night we were eating Thai food (I made macaroni and cheese, PB&Js, and chopped strawberries for the boys). Nick was very interested in both the rice and the Pad Thai noodles. Gabe made the comment that "Nick's a little garbage disposal, he eats anything." I laughed. I'm sure it's something he's heard his grandma say, but it's still so cute to hear it coming from him.

:::

Tonight Oscar and I had a date. We went after work to the Taste of Reston at the Reston Town Center. There was a ton of great food, plus a lot of cool things at the booths. I think I got four or five Frisbees for the boys. Also there was wine, good wine. And strawberries dipped in melted chocolate from the Melting Pot. It was wonderful.

We walked up and down, enjoying our food. Also, we went in a few of the stores to browse, which I always enjoy. We didn't buy anything at the town centre, but followed it up with a trip to Target. Where we most certainly did buy a few things, including some more t-shirts for the boys. I really have a thing for cute cheap t-shirts for them.

:::

A couple weeks ago, Nick had a cold that kept lingering, so we took him to his pediatrician where he was diagnosed with an ear infection. We followed the course of antibiotics, but afterwards it still seemed like his ear was bothering him, but he's also getting a couple new teeth in, so we just figured that was the issue.

This past weekend he came down with another cold, and over the past week he has developed a rash all over his chest, also a few random splotches on his arms and legs. So after we picked up the boys from my MIL's this evening, we took Nick to our local urgent care.

The doctor told us the rash wasn't anything to worry about, but we need to keep an eye on the splotches. If they develop white *heads*, he could have chicken pox. She also checked out his ears, and determined that he still had an ear infection. So we got a higher dosage of antibiotics.

Poor baby, teething, an ear infection, and a rash. Plus both the boys were up past their bedtime. However, I am really glad we took him in. We know what to look for with his rash, and also can hopefully get rid of his ear infection this time.

However, I am not looking forward to the future contents of his diapers. At least I was warned.

Putting on Mascara

2009-06-12T11:28:00.005-04:00

Conversation with Gabe this morning while putting on mascara:

“Mommy, what you doing?”

“I’m curling my eyelashes.”

“How it work?”

“It clamps my eyelashes and curls them.”

“How it clamp your eyelashes?”

“I open it up and put it round my eyelashes and clamp them.”

“Why you clamp your eyelashes?”

“I’m not clamping them, I’m curling them.”

“What you doing with that brush?”

“I’m painting my eyelashes.”

“Why your mouth open?”

“I don’t know, baby.”

Lol, I have no idea why my mouth was open. And yet, I caught myself doing it again when I repeated the process on the other eye.

:::

I’ve been feeling a little down lately. I don’t know why. I just haven’t been happy. I feel like each day, I’m just going through the motions. Get up, get ready, get the boys ready, drop them off, go to work, pick them up, go home, feed them dinner, get them ready for bed, go to bed, repeat. While the boys still possess the ability to make me laugh and make my heart melt when they smother me with their sweet baby love, it’s the exception to my mood rather than the norm.

I’m constantly on edge. I’m constantly frustrated. And I’m not sure why. I’m sure being sick isn’t helping, but it started before I got sick. It coincided with my new birth control pills, but could that really be it? I don’t know. I just know that I don’t feel right. I guess the term is that I’m feeling blue.

I mean there are things I feel that I’m legitimately upset/nervous/irritated about, but I don’t think they would normally affect me to this degree. I’m nervous about our upcoming beach trip with another family. I’m irritated at the influence my MIL has on my family. I’m upset that my husband values her opinion on our children above mine.

But would it consume me and set me off as much as it has lately if there wasn’t something else going on? I don’t know. I just wish Oscar tried to understand. I wish he maybe tried to see things from my point of view and didn’t automatically assume I was irrational and against his mother. I wish he wouldn’t say some of the things he says regarding my abilities both as a wife and a mother. I’m insecure enough. I need him to support me. I need to know that he feels that I’m good enough.

Also, I need to stop putting on mascara, if I'm going to end up crying it all off (or invest in waterproof).

Class Act

2009-06-11T09:40:00.004-04:00

I totally can’t get rid of this cold. It’s been a week and I don’t even feel marginally better. I am all sniffly and hacking and phlegmy. It’s awful. I’m also cold all the time. Unless I’m like directly in the sun. And then I’m not cold.

I suppose if I’m not feeling better by Monday, I might have to schedule a dreaded doctor’s appointment. I really hate scheduling a doctor’s appointment. That’s probably why my local urgent care has a better record on me than my doctor does. However, I also don’t want to still be sick when we go to the beach, and if I have an actual infection, I might want to get started on an antibiotic course sooner rather than later.

:::

Last night was Nick’s last gym class of the spring session. They practiced some of their big skills they’ve been working on, which related to rolls. First they did a forward roll on the balance beam. Then they did a forward roll down a wedge followed by a reverse roll over something they call a hot dog.

Nick loves to do rolls and eagerly ran to be the first one to do both. However, that was his only desire to participate. While he does like the bells for the intro, he didn’t want to participate in the warm up. Nor did he want to have anything to do with the Air Track. Gabe, unfortunately, was very eager and dived on with little regard for all the small children, a few who still can’t walk. I felt bad for him when he had to be removed so that the babies could crawl around.

Since we needed to have time for the certificates, balls and bubbles were combined, which Nick thought was the greatest thing ever. He couldn’t decide what he wanted to do. Chase bubbles? Play with balls? I’m so confused. Before the closing circle, the teacher gave out certificates for the children and had them each pose on a large block mat with their arms raised for “ta-da” for pictures.

I enjoy gym class, and miss the ability for Oscar and I to both attend, like we did with Gabe. Next week starts summer session, which will be at the same time and with the same age group. Only with a different instructor. However, she is our favorite instructor, so that will be good. In the fall, Nick will move up a class and we will start going on Saturdays instead, since we feel that 6:15 on a weeknight is too late for class.

Gabe will not be taking a gym class this summer. Instead he will be doing Vacation Bible School at the church he attends with my MIL. In addition he will also do a three-day “camp” at the gym. He was signed up for his sports class at the gym originally, but ended up being the only child signed up for the time slot, so it got cancelled. His usually time slot will be back in the fall.

:::

Friends and family were invited to attend the big show, and as usual, it was a mistake. First there was poor Gabe who just wanted to play, such as the Air Track issue. Then there was the presence of my MIL, who irritated me all evening. Maybe it was just my mood. But she showed up at our house, and started taking over and parenting my children, like I’m not capable. Yes, I realize she watches them all day, but I’m perfectly capable of getting them ready and out the door.

Then there was the fact that my sweet Nick was only interested in her. It really bothered me. He kept fussing and looking for her, and I wanted him to play with me. And of course she delights in it. In that, oh, I better go, so that he doesn’t get distracted, but I’m so cheerful sort of way. It was just frustrating. These are my babies. And it hurts when they chose my MIL over me. Or when they always choose Oscar over me. I guess I feel like I’m doing something wrong, when I’m trying my best to be a good Mommy.

:::

We looked at a couple rental house on Tuesday, and while we realize they won’t be available when we’re ready to move, we were trying to get an idea of the size and features they had. We may not even move, but we are thinking about. Unfortunately neither house was in the boundaries for the elementary school we want Gabe to attend.

We’re finding out that to get Gabe into this school gives us a surprisingly small selection of house to choose from. I suppose he doesn’t have to go to this school, but one of his friends is going to go there, and if we’re planning to stay in this community and will need to move into a house eventually, why not try to ensure he’s in the same school?

The first house we looked at wasn’t bad, and would have been fine if it had either had a third bathroom upstairs or a finished basement. When we move into a house my MIL is moving in with us and we would like her to have her own bathroom. The master suite always has its own (at least in new homes around here) and so a bathroom for the boys and a separate bathroom for her is desirable.

The second house was beautiful, but a little more than we wanted to spend on a rental. And again, not in the boundaries for the elementary school. It had four bedrooms with 3 baths upstairs, plus a large finished basement with a bedroom and a bath. Also, I’m not so sure about taking care of a house that size. I realize that I won’t always be balancing work, parenting young children, and school, but I struggle to take care of our townhouse, even with it being cleaned every other week.

I’m not sure what the right answer is. I don’t know if we should try to move into a rental house this summer or stay put and wait until next summer and maybe try to buy something. I just worry that we won’t be ready to buy next summer, which means Gabe will definitely be going to a different elementary school. And I don’t know if that really matters.

Random Topics

2009-06-10T10:05:00.004-04:00

I decided that I needed to clean out my purse this morning, as I can never find stuff when I need it and discovered these exciting contents:

Wallet
Lots of old receipts for doctor’s visits, restaurant meals, cafeteria food purchases, withdrawals, and gas.
A metro pass from last Friday.
Coupons for favorite Chinese restaurant
Appointment cards
Phone numbers for people who can do property perks
Ticket Stubs
Stickers (Bob the Builder and Superman)
A neon yellow bouncy ball
Bill for concussion-related hospital visit
Lock of hair from Nick’s first haircut
Notes from a therapy session
Make-up bag discretely containing monthly necessities
Sunglasses
Notebook w/matching pencil
Pen
Hairbrush
Small black claw clip
Black hair elastic
Silver barrette
Purell hand sanitizer
Travel size Bath and Body Works hand lotion in Sweat Pea
Tylenol GoTabs
Tylenol Extra Strength
Tums (leftover from pregnancy-induced heartburn, still good)
Tylenol Cold and Sinus
Tide ToGo Mini
Two mirrors
Bandaids
Individual alchohol packets
Cough Drops
Tweezers
Travel container of Estee Lauder Beyond Paradise perfume
Travel container of Victoria Secrets Pink perfume
Tube of Blistex (SPF 15)
Tube of Softlips in Strawberry (SPF 20)
Tube of CO Bigelow Lip Formula (SPF 15)
Container of Pumpkin Spice Lip Balm
Tube of Lancome Jucy Tubes lip gloss in Hallucination
Tube of generic Target-purchased lip gloss in Pumpkin Pie Paradise (bonus: lip plumper formula)
Tube of Hard Candy Sweet Spot lip gloss in Bohemian (sparkly!)
Tube of Smashbox lip gloss in pink
Lancome lipstick in Trendy Mauve
Neutrogena lip sheers in Ruby Bliss
Car keys

And no, that does not include the contents of my wallet. Does it help if I mention it is all housed in a very pretty, large, Coach Patchwork Purse?

The worst part is that on most days I don’t even wear lipstick, because I love to kiss my boys and don’t like to get lipstick on them. Also, I have a fascination with lip balms with SPF.

Unfortunately, most of the items went back in my purse, with the exception of old receipts, coupons, metro pass, and old appointment cards. And I still did not find the appointment card I was looking for, which was for Nick’s next appointment, so I guess I will have to call our pediatrician’s office to find out when his 15 month check up is actually scheduled.

:::

I can’t believe Nick is almost 15 months. It still feels so fresh. His birth, and the past year. How many changes he’s gone through, how many things he has learned. And yet I know time will continue to speed by me. In August, Gabe will be 4. And next fall he will start kindergarten and aaaaah! I’m not ready. I’m not ready for my babies to grow up.

:::

I recently finished reading two books. One was Jinx by Jennifer Estep, which is the third book in her superhero series. While it was fairly enjoyable, it was also very cheesy. The concept of the series is that these are superhero romance novels. The characters are clichés, and the superhero names are sometimes silly. However, it was a light read, and easy to finish while I was feeding Nick at nite (hehe… Nick at nite). Plus I have a fascination with superheroes.

I also finished reading Firefly Lane by Kristen Hanna, which I enjoyed immensely. While the character development was not as detailed as I would have liked, and some parts of Kate and Tully’s history was given too quickly, their story of friendship over 30 years was very compelling. I could relate more to Kate personally, as a mother, but I envied Tully’s drive and ambition. The ending made me cry. As did the relationship Kate had with her children. It’s a beautiful story, but skip it if you like happy endings and have distaste for forced emotions. I also loved that it was set in the Seattle area. I’m always nostalgic for the area where I grew up.

Enough

2009-06-09T14:59:00.006-04:00

One of the greatest things about parenthood, aside from getting love (I mean smiles, cuddles, and kisses, how great are they), is watching your child learn new things. Watching their delight at the discovery of something new and fantastic.

Nick is especially delightful when it comes to food. For the most part, he treats new foods as the most fantastic thing he ever tasted, with strawberries, chocolate, and ice cream topping his list. Also anything you’re eating. Even if he has the same thing on his plate. You are eating it. Therefore it must be better.

Food falls into four categories for Nick: “Ba”, which indicates he wants something to drink, usually milk, but also water or juice. “Nana”, means he wants a banana, although they usually end up half eaten and thrown on the floor, unless they are your banana and then they are the best ever. “Nack” means he would like a snack, preferably Fruit Loops, but animal crackers, Cheerios, Kix, and Gerber Yogurt Bites also satisfy.

Finally we have “that”, which can be used in other situations”, but indicates that he wants some of whatever it is that you are eating. If you don’t feel he should have some of it (we’re still sketchy on fish and soda, and of course diet food), he responds by yelling “that, that, that, waaaaaah.” Really, it’s fun…

:::

I’ve also enjoyed watching Gabe’s progression with his legos. He still prefers the quatro legos to the duplos as his love for giant towers has no end. However, he has started making patterns with the blocks and leaving room for windows and doors. His buildings have roofs. It’s quite a change from the baby Godzilla he used to be. Who would demand towers and then eagerly knock them down.

Unfortunately, Nick is at that stage. Except he doesn’t have to demand towers, as usually Gabe has already built one. Poor Gabe. He gets very frustrated when Nickzilla attacks one of his towers.

:::

We have lots of nicknames for our boys. While it took quite a while for me to call Gabriel, Gabe, Nick had always been Nick, not Nicholas, despite having that on his birth certificate.

When Gabe was first learning to talk he often doubled the first syllables of names and words. His beloved monkeys were monkmonks, noodles were noonoos and he was Gabegabe. Sometimes we still call him Gabegabe, even though he has moved on from that stage with his vocabulary. At one point, before Nick was born, Oscar even had GABGAB as he personalized license plate (and yes, I have a personalized plate now, this is Virginia and everybody has personalized plates).

Due to his love of monkeys, Gabe also gets called monkey a lot.

We also refer to both boys as Bob when they’re upset about something. As in “Bob is not happy” or “Bob is mad”. I’m not sure where this came from, but it usually helps us defuse what could otherwise be a tense situation.

Nick is often called Nickel or Nicknack or Nickelpotamus. To go with that, Gabe is also sometimes called Gabel.

I also call them my baby monsters or my baby children or my beebles (have no idea where that came from, I just like it).

:::

They are my darling boys. And I love them so very much. They are growing up too quickly and I’m trying my best to hold on and cherish every moment we have together.

I regret that I am not the type of mother who writes every milestone down in a baby book or dutifully writes dates on the back of all her pictures and then immediately files them in a photo album.

I will never scrapbook.

My memories of their youth will be hazy. I will not have the exact day they walked their first step or said their first word etched in my memory.

But I will have loved them. I will have enjoyed our time together as they grew up. I will have been there for them when they needed me. I will have done the best that I was capable of doing.

And that will be enough.

Because I loved them.

Whirlwind

2009-06-08T15:08:00.016-04:00

Sniffle, snort, glrrck, hack, sniff. Excuse me, sorry. Seems I managed to come down with a bit of a cold this weekend. Between the sniffling and the coughing and the mucus and the sore throat I feel awful. Also, the chills and body aches in the evening. That’s an added bonus. And yet, I still made it to work today. I even came back after dropping my friend off at the airport.

Of course, I have like no vacation days, and am planning to take a beach trip at the end of the month, so I really didn’t have much choice.

:::

My weekend passed by way too quickly, as they usually do. I picked my friend up Thursday morning and dropped her off at my house so she could nap before returning to work for a little bit. I then took a few hours of leave and left early to grab lunch with Oscar since we won’t have much time alone together this weekend. We had Red Robin, which involved a delicious salad. And lest you think I was being *good*, lunch also included a Rookie Magic shake.

He picked up the boys so I could go straight home and see my friend. As Oscar remarked many times, we are very different. We always have been, and yet we were very good friends. It was so nice to see her. I’m so glad she came. We ordered pizza from Papa John’s and also picked up some sushi. I know, what a combination, but it was good. The boys just ate pizza.

On Friday, we had breakfast at Bob Evans and then caught the metro from Vienna to D.C. It is amazing how long it can take to look through one museum, and we didn’t even see all of it. Our choice was the National Museum of American History, which is amazing. We spent the longest amount of time looking at the War exhibit.

We got downtown about 10:30. We didn’t pause until almost 1:00 when we finally decided it was time for lunch. Lunch was ridiculously overpriced and we split both a sandwich and a bag of chips. We finished up with the science exhibit. I was particularly entertained by the large display they had on the evolution of birth control pills and the controversies that surround them.

Once we were done with the museum we stopped in one of the gift shops where I picked up a magnet and postcard of President Obama for Gabe. Then we went to look at the Washington and Lincoln monuments. It took us two hours to get from the museum, see both monuments, and get back to the metro. The Lincoln monument is very cool, and I managed to get a completely clear shot of the entire statue.

The only thing that sucked about our day downtown was the rain. It wasn’t really raining hard, so it didn’t hinder our sight-seeing, but the drizzle was annoying. However, it did limit the amount of tourists that were outside. Unfortunately a number of schools decided it was a great day for a field trip, so the museum was very crowded.

:::

After the museums we came home and I helped get the boys fed and ready for bed. Oscar picked up Ruby Tuesday’s for dinner. The book I ordered and wanted to read Gabe is The Giving Tree. It surprised me that we didn’t already have a copy, but it has now become Gabe’s favorite story. I’ve read it every night since he first heard it on Thursday.

After the boys were in bed, we went driving while Oscar stayed home to be with the boys and do homework. I showed her a bunch of the neighborhoods in the area while we talked. Before we came home we stopped and got some ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery. I made the mistake of trying their new butterscotch pudding flavor, and I thought it was way too sweet. I think I’ll stick to their basic flavors next time.

:::

Saturday morning Oscar had to go into work for an hour so we went to the playground for a little bit, and then the mall for a little shopping. I ended up with a really cute polo in dark blue with a dragon fly graphic from Old Navy. My friend picked up a skirt from H&M. As a reward for being so good while we shopped, we took the boys on the Merry-Go-Round (yes, the Dulles Town Centre has both a Merry-Go-Round and a train with a *conductor* that drives around the mall).

They both had a good time. Nick loved riding the horse as it went up and down. Gabe really wanted to ride in the *cup* that you can turn in circles, but I there were older kids already in the cup and I didn’t want us to be separated. He still enjoyed riding the horse.

After the mall we met Oscar for lunch at Moby Dick’s, which is an awesome Mediterranean restaurant. The flat bread with their cucumber yogurt sauce is excellent and all their meat is so tender. Also rice, lots of rice.

In the afternoon we went to our community’s carnival. This is the third year that we’ve gone. They’ve upgraded since the first year I went. They now accept credit cards and have an ATM at in the carnival. That’s nice since it was a pain to show up without cash (okay, I should have known better, but I spaced) and have to go someplace else to get some so that Gabe could have a snack and go on some rides.

Gabe has had a great time every year. We met up with our friends about hour after we got there. Gabe had already gone on a few rides, as well as the moon bounces (we got him the unlimited ride bracelet). Once they arrived the three kids (Gabe and their two girls) stopped at a few of the child-friendly booths, went on a few more rides, and then we went to get snacks.

Originally Gabe’s last soccer practice was supposed to be today, but it had rained so much the last few days that the fields were really muddy, so they cancelled all practices despite the warm weather we had on Saturday. His last practice will now be next Saturday.

After we were finished with the carnival we went to Bertucci’s for dinner, which was very good. In addition to the typical kid’s menus with color crayons, they also have real dough for the kids to play with that can be made into shapes and then baked. Gabe thought that was really cool, and was more than happy to eat the results. Bread usually goes over well. Nick, as usual, wanted to try everything. He particularly liked the rigatoni noodles because they were round and hollow so he could stick them on his fingers.

:::

On Sunday we went to see Up with our friends rather than go to the Aquarium. Just like with Monsters Vs. Aliens, I missed the end of the movie because Nick was too restless. Instead I spent that time following Nick as he walked up and down the hallway. Oscar took him out for about 10-15 during the first part of the movie and then I spent the rest of the time trying to entertain him.

What I did see of the movie I enjoyed a lot. Although, I agree with all the comments I’ve heard that it really wasn’t appropriate for the preschool set. This is, of course, the ages of the children that we had in attendance (14 mo, 2.5 years, 3.5 years, 4).

It was a beautiful movie, and wonderful in 3D, but the themes were very adult, and some of the scenes were a little scary for small children. It was not nearly as delightful as WALL-E. Next summer we will get Toy Story 3, which I think will be a great movie watching experience. The kids will be older and it’s a movie about toys.

:::

After the movie Oscar and I took Gabe and Nick for a drive so that Nick could sleep and Gabe could hopefully calm down after the high he’s been on all weekend. It also involved a stop at the grocery store. Nick did sleep, and stayed asleep the whole time, unfortunately, Gabe did not spend the time chilling, and instead chose to have a major freaking tantrum. OMG, it was the tantrum that would not end! It lasted like three hours!

Finally he calmed after a bath, and then ate dinner in his PJs. He was agreeable for stories and went to sleep relatively easily. I’m sure he was exhausted. Between having a guest, the carnival, the movie, and the tantrum, I’m sure he was worn out.

Once the boys were in bed we played Scattergories, which is a favorite game of mine. So easy to play, yet entertaining. Perhaps I’m just easily entertained. Then again, I am a parent, I find amusement in the antics of small children.

I had tea (with honey and whiskey) and a blueberry muffin filled with cream cheese as a snack… so tasty. Pastries stuffed with cream cheese, so good. A particular favorite is the pumpkin ones that Starbucks has in the fall and winter… mmmmm (and you wonder why I have a hard time sticking to a diet).

:::

I had a great time with my friend this weekend and was sad to see her leave. It was nice having someone who new me in high school and still liked me. I just worried that she didn’t have a good time. Other than Friday we really didn’t get a chance to just hang out and talk with out the boys. Like we used to. We used to spend hours driving around just talking about nothing. And everything.

Our lives are very different these days. Not that we were ever that similar. It just seems more glaring now that we’ve become adults. Now that our differences have shown up in our life paths. Still, I really enjoyed her company. I’ve missed having friends. I’ve missed having her as a friend. It’s been almost nine years, really. I saw her briefly on one trip home while in the military, but that was it since we graduated.

I hope we can stay in touch. I wish the time difference didn’t make things so difficult. Trying to find time to connect on the phone is challenging. Three hours can make a huge difference. Still, there is e-mail… even if it’s not the same.

Day at the Smithsonian (and other adventures)

2009-06-04T11:03:00.006-04:00

I have such a busy weekend planned and I'm really looking forward to it. My best friend from high school flew out to visit me, which is really cool. I'm taking the day off of work tomorrow to go to D.C. with her. I don't know why having an out-of-town guest prompts me to go sightseeing downtown, but it does. Fortunately, this will only be my second trip to the National Mall, so everything will be new and fresh. Plus, my dream was always to be a history major, and despite being a business major instead, I still love the museums.

On Saturday Gabe has soccer and we will hopefully go see Up in 3D, which I'm really looking forward too. So, I love animated movies? What's wrong with that? That's right. There's nothing wrong with that.

On Sunday, we're probably going to drive up Baltimore and hang out in the Inner Harbor. The aquarium is there, which rocks, plus all the shops and restaurants. We may even do cheesy and eat at the Hard Rock Cafe or ESPN Zone.

I really want my friend to have a good time. She went to all the effort to come out here and visit, and we really haven't hung out since high school (which has been almost ten years) and now instead of being teenagers, we're adults. So yeah, I'm a little nervous. I picked her up at the airport this morning and all I talked about were my kids. How pathetic is that? I'm so boring I have nothing else to talk about but my children.

:::

I had such good ideas for this post. In the car this morning I had this witty and entertaining post in my head, and when I get to work? Totally lost it. It's like work sucks all the creativity from my brain. Or maybe it's the aliens at Hulu.

Speaking of aliens, have you seen the ad for Planet 51? Totally cute. Yes, the title is cheesy, since it's about a planet of aliens and an Earthling who lands on the planet and it's all animated. But I totally want to see it (see childish excitement at the prospect of seeing Up above). Cheesy animated movies? I'm there. Also, ridiculously predictable romantic comedies? Also, there. Weepy, chick flicks? Count me in. Cheesy horror flicks? Um, I think I'll just pass. Unless there are zombies. For some reason, I've seen a lot of zombie movies.

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Last night Nick had gym class where they practiced the skills they will show off for their last class of the session next week. We practiced forward rolls on the balance beam, and then forward rolls down a wedge followed by backward rolls on a hot dog thingy. Nick didn't mind doing the rolls, and in fact wanted to do them a couple of times, but most of the other activities were not interesting. Although, he does always like the balls and bubbles.

He was most fascinated by one of the bouncy platforms they have. The biggest one was pushed facing the window and he kept wanting to go over there and bounce on it. At one point another little boy was climbing on it and Nick walked up to him, took his hand and led him back to the big red mat. Then Nick went back and started trying to bounce on it again. It made me giggle. He was so sly about it. All friendly to the other little boy and then when his back was turned he left him. I laughed, even if it wasn't the nicest thing.

However, even though going to Nick's class was enjoyable. I was still a little sad. You see, this was supposed to be my week to stay home with Gabe, which I was really looking forward to. I get so little alone time with him that the nights where I get to stay home with him are precious. I had recently ordered him a copy of the Giving Tree which had arrived the day before and was sitting in the SUV, and I was excited because I was really looking forward to reading it to him.

Instead, I was informed when I got home from work, that Gabe wanted Daddy to stay home with him instead. And that really hurt. Because I was really looking forward to it. Shortly after that, Oscar told Gabe about the book I had bought for us to read together, so then he said he wanted me to stay home. But not really. He wanted Daddy, and I wasn't going to stay home with him when I wasn't who he really wanted to spend time with.

Maybe I should have just accepted it at face value. He was interested in the book, and I should have accepted that was all I was going to get. But I guess I wanted more. I guess I wanted him to want to stay home to be with me, not to hear me read a story. Plus, I had already changed and gotten ready to go. So I said no, I was taking Nick. And he accepted that. And later reiterated that he wanted Daddy to stay home with him.

And that really, really hurt.

Young at Heart

2009-06-02T14:37:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I think that I must be the only women my age with small children. Because the parents of all my friends are much older than me, heck they’re older than Oscar too, who has five years on me as it is.

It seems that everybody I know that has children around the same ages as mine is at least in their mid-thirties, in some cases their late thirties. I guess they established their careers first, or something. It just makes me feel so young.

Like this weekend we went to a barbecue at a friend’s house. They have a daughter who just turned four and another daughter who will be three in October. They graduated college before I even started high school. I mean, what do I even have to talk to them about besides our children? I’m a product of the eighties, and for them those wereo their teen years.

It’s not like I don’t have a decent career, even with two children. I make a decent salary and so does Oscar. Yes, I haven’t finished my degree yet, but I’m working on it. And sometimes it really sucks. Small children, plus work, plus school, doesn’t leave much time for anything else.

I just feel really young. I *know* there are women my age with small children. My SIL is the same age, although she is just now pregnant with her first. And two of my good friends from high school have or are about to have children. It’s just no one I hang out with is my age. It’s a little lonely sometimes.

It’s also hard to remember at times, that we are much younger than some of our parent friends and that we didn’t spend years as DINKs (dual-income, no kids). We got married and had a baby a little more than nine months later. I was 23 for goodness sake! Much too young to have a baby, yet there he was. So we don’t have as much disposable income. We haven’t bought a house yet.

:::

At the end of the month we’re going to go on our first vacation with children. We’re planning to spend four glorious days in Ocean City. It will also be our first vacation with friends. I’m a little nervous. They keep much different hours than we do (their children sleep until eight or nine, can you imagine?). They also are able to afford a lot more than we are, so I’m also worried that they won’t like the hotel we’re staying in.

I mean a party or a barbecue is one thing, but a whole beach weekend? Yikes! Very nervous. And yours truly is not the best conversationalist. I get so shy and tongue-tied and second guess everything I say. The running commentary in my head usually includes classic lines such as “OMG, that was so stupid,” “Idiot”, and “I can’t believe you just said that.” Good times. Such a supportive self-monologue I’ve got going there.

:::

In other news, my best friend from high school is coming to visit me this weekend. Not only is she visiting, but she’s also staying in what passes for a guest room in our townhouse. There’s a twin bed, that’s fairly comfortable. And there will be sheets. Also a half bath.

Unfortunately the room also has our broken computer (which sometimes works), that sits on a beautiful Pottery Barn desk, the only piece of Pottery Barn furniture that we own. My treadmill is stored there. As well as all our movies, and assorted other items that we wanted out of the rest of the house, but haven’t done anything else with. I have two nights to attempt to tidy it up a bit.

I'm really looking forward to her visit. It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. I really hope she has a good time. I mean, she doesn’t have kids, so I hope a whole weekend around them doesn’t drive her nuts.

On Friday, I’m taking the day off work and we’re going to go down to DC and look around, mainly at the museums. Saturday is Gabe’s last soccer practice, so there’s that, and then we’re going to go see Up in 3D. There might even be ice cream afterwards. On Sunday, I believe the plan is to drive up to the Inner Harbor in Baltimore and go to the Aquarium. A fun, action-packed weekend. I’m going to be exhausted by Monday.

Private Benjamin

2009-05-29T15:10:00.005-04:00

When I left work yesterday, it was so humid. The air was so thick you could feel the moisture as you breathed it in.

Virginia in the summer (okay, almost summer). Hot and humid. The only place I've spent time in that was worse was South Carolina. And I apologize to anybody who lives in SC and loves it, but dang, that place gets freaking hot and humid in the summer. And don't get me started on the d@mn fire ants!

Of course, I could be a little bit biased against SC. I mean I am from Seattle, and up until the point when I was shipped off to Basic Training at Fort Jackson I had never left the West Coast, with the exception of a trip to Alberta, Canada when I was 13.

I know, Cookie in the Army, pretty funny. I imagine that was a pretty amusing thing to watch. I mean I wore BDUs. And I marched. And I shot a rifle. Just picture Private Benjamin and you might be close.

Anyway, a Seattlite in South Carolina in the summer is not a good combination. Especially when it did not involve anything resembling a beach, unless you count the sand pits, which I definitely do not.

:::

I have another ~~shameless Amazon plug~~ children's book recommendation. Last night one of the stories I read the boys was I Love You So... by Marianne Richmond, which is a delightful story explaining to a child how much is so much love, and that a parent's love is unconditional.

"I love you"

"How much?"

"So much."

"How much is 'so'?"

"WAY, WAY MORE than you know..."

The artwork is lovely and the prose is beautiful. Gabe loves to ask questions about all the pictures and what it means for Mommies and Daddies to love their children no matter what.

:::

Today, I actually feel almost well-rested. Nick slept through the night. Of course, that means he slept from 7:30 to 5:00, but hey that works for me. I'm ecstatic! I guess this means his cold is completely gone. So yay! Antibiotics rock!

:::

Last night I did my No More Trouble Zones video again. I love how much stronger I feel when I'm finished with it, even though I hate it while I'm doing it. I always feel so much better after I've completed a workout.

I really want to be consistent with exercising even though it's difficult sometimes with work, school, the boys, and Oscar. This is something that's important to me and good for my health. There is always something else I could be doing instead of exercising, but I have to make the time. I have to believe that I'm worth it.

Sometimes I have a hard time believing that.

Someday

2009-05-27T10:40:00.004-04:00

So Nick's new favorite word is "nack" followed by pointing at himself - indicating that he wants a snack. Of course, he means he wants a specific snack, and actually means that he wants fruit loops. He did that this morning when I was downstairs making my coffee, and of course I complied. I was rewarded with a giant grin when the requested "nack" appeared on the little red chair (there's no point in putting it in a bowl, he would just proceed to dump it everywhere).

:::

Last night was a very unsuccessful food night. Nick, who normally is an excellent eater, wasn't interested in eating anything that wasn't a a Fruit Loop. And Gabe, despite requesting a Voila! Meal (we like the Garlic Chicken) refused to eat most of it. He doesn't eat vegetables, although we keep trying. Last night we asked him to eat one little sliced carrot.

You would have thought we were trying to poison him the way he reacted! He spent almost 15 minutes in a meltdown over eating one lousy carrot. Then he refused to eat some of the curly noodles because they had little bits of broccoli on them. Finally the chicken, which he had claimed he would eat, resulted in another tantrum. He spent so long having tantrums that he lost out on the chance to watch a DVR'd TV show before it was time to get ready for bed.

:::

As I've mentioned before, I love story time with the boys. Last night I read a Bob the Builder story, Someday and Good Night, Grover. If you have never ready Someday before, I highly recommend it. It's guaranteed to make me tear up every time I read it, despite being about a little girl. The story is basically a mother talking to her little girl, and some of the things she will experience as she grows up. Here are a couple of the lines from the story:

"One day I counted your fingers and kissed each one".

"Someday your eyes will be filled with a joy so deep that they shine".

The book is written by Alison McGhee, who also writes the charming Little Boy.

:::

After the boys went to bed last night, I worked out for the second night in a row. Go me! Last night I did Jillian Michaels' No More Trouble Zones and I was sweating like crazy by the end of it. My legs are quite sore this morning. I love Jillian's videos. I think she's a great trainer, and I would jump at the opportunity to have a personal training session with her.

I am determined to finish losing weight by this summer so I actually look decent in a swimsuit. We're planning a beach trip at the end of June and I hope to make good progress by then. My goal is to work out every night, even if it is just a long walk or a yoga video. I'm not sure how successful I will be, especially since I do have school to worry about.

Wish me luck!

Memorial Monday

2009-05-25T13:38:00.021-04:00

We decided to return from the country yesterday afternoon, rather than today like originally planned. Mainly because of homework. I was having trouble concentrating and Oscar's computer decided to stop working. So was came back early, although Gabe stayed up there with my MIL. She dropped him off a couple hours ago.

:::

We had a nice time. Shortly after we got up there on Saturday, Oscar put the little charcoal grill together and grilled burgers and hot dogs for lunch. We also had baked beans (canned) and roasted veggies (potatoes, onions, and carrots). It was very good. I had a little difficulty eating the hot dog, due to my mouth still not being 100%, but enjoyed it none the less. Afterwards, I helped Gabe roast marshmallows.

This was taken right before Gabe got bored and handed me his marshmallow to finish roasting.

Saturday evening we went out to dinner at Pizza Hut. Gabe is fascinated with ea ting in at a pizza place, so whenever we go to the country house we always take him out to dinner there. This time, in addition to ordering a Pepperoni pizza (a favorite with the men in the Cookie family), we also tried on of their new pastas - the Chicken Alfredo. It wasn't bad. Certainly not as good as the commercials make it out to be, but not bad.

After dinner we went back the country house and got the boys ready for bed. Nick was resistant to sleep, since his routine was messed with, so we took him for a car ride into the town of Strasburg. There's a little ice cream shack in the main part of town that is absolutely fabulous. I had a blueberry delight sundae, which consisted of freshly made soft serve vanilla ice cream, cheese cake, and lots of blueberry topping. Mmmmm. So go. Oscar went with a blueberry shake.

I worked on a little homework after we got back, which is hard when you don't have an internet connection and realize that you don't have all the information you need. Luckily my paper wasn't due until Sunday. Poor, Oscar, he had tried to download AOL so he could use a dial-up connection if necessary and it totally hosed his computer. He spent all evening trying to get it to work with no success. In fact, it's still not working.

:::

On Sunday we went for a hike in the woods after breakfast. My in-laws have about eight acres with a creek that ends in a lake, although the lake was built by their neighbors and for the most part, isn't on their property. Oscar and I talked about the possibility of moving from the suburbs and building up here, but it's probably not feasible. More than likely we will just expand and upgrade the house my in-laws have to make it more pleasant for weekend trips. Here are some pictures from our hike:

The creek with the remnants of a make-shift bridge.

The lake, complete with boat.

Gabe with his walking stick.

My boys.

After we returned from our walk, we went for a drive so the Nick could take a nap and Gabe could chill and watch an episode or two of Go, Diego, Go in the car. We went and found all the local schools and stopped at the elementary school so Gabe could play on the playground, which he enjoyed. After our drive, we all ate lunch and then Oscar and I got ready to drive back home. Nick stayed awake for most of the drive, and was still awake when we reached Gainesville. We needed to go grocery shopping, and decided to stop at the Super Target there.

After Target, Nick fell asleep for the rest of the ride. When we got home Oscar and I unpacked the car and tried to tidy up around the house. Oscar also tried to get his computer to work with little success.

Sunday evening we decided to go to Outback for dinner, which was delicious. I even had a drink - a blueberry martini, which was excellent. We ordered Nick macaroni and cheese, which did not use elbow noodles, so Nick wasn't too sure about. However, he loved the bread and everything that Oscar and I were eating. The weather was beautiful, so we also went for a short walk around the block when we got home from dinner.

:::

This morning we went to Panera Bread for breakfast, stopped to get me Starbucks, and then went for a drive so that Nick could take a nap. I love going for drives, it's one of the few opportunities for Oscar and I to talk. We came to the conclusion, like we usually do, that we are never leaving our current neighborhood, and will eventually buy a house here.

Nick woke up as soon as we got home and decided that he could not get out of the car without a pair of my sunglasses. So I took a picture of him wearing the glasses:

Any way, I need to finish my homework, so I better end this post so I'm not up too late.

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P.S. Loved Sundry's entry on her weekend. I posted a comment with my input in a similar format. I think it's about halfway down in the comments.